Water Quality Advisory

I am a complete new-junkie, nooo question about it, i picked up the habit when I spent 4 years working in a television newsroom. I have absolutely not seen ANYTHING from the city about this current "Poor Quailty - Boil Water Advisory".
It seems to me that the city of Fernie must only warn residents about the quality of water by ancient ways of communicating. Their ancient ways of communicating include visiting ACTUAL websites! Yes they expect us to go to fernie.ca and scroll to the bottom and look at the water quailty index. I bet they "fax" out shit too, ahahahha jeeezzz. No Fernie, you will not get a Facebook status update or a Twitter Tweet or a posting on Ourfernie/Local news sites.

So write this down or bookmark it residents, www.fernie.ca and scroll to the bottom for the water quailty index. If its a "POOR" everyone should boil, If its a "Fair" people should be careful, and those with weakend immune systems should boil. Last night it was poor, today its fair. If its raining a lot or you, I dunno, get a bad vibe??? then go check the index.

You Wont Like It

Who keep hiring back that Oatmeal Crisp guy in the commericials? He's still hogging all the cereal away from his family, what a dink! I hate annoying reaccuring characters!

Store Closing Banner Catches Many Eyes

Movie Gallery on the highway is closing. Bummmer man, maaajor bummer. I bet Shaw Cable is gonna be makin mad mad coin off all the digital movie orders from the new boxes they introduced. Orr, Radio Shack better stock up on cables to run your laptop to your TV cuz will all this rain we gonna be itching for movies on the couch. Hell The Vogue Theater may even see increased numbers with this closure.

Warning

Okay, while im on the topic of healthier options, did you know Mott's Clamato Juice has MSG. Its listed as its 4th ingrediant!!! EWWWWW this is a major bummer for me. Thats just effing nasty. I even found a Facebook Group petitioning for Mott's to rid Clamato of the disgusting MSG. Join Here

As If!

K, this article BLEW. ME. AWAY.....as fucking if!!!!!
THIS IS WHY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY...ITS THE SYSTEM!!!!

http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/04/22/unpardonable-omissions/

Mojo my ass

Tom Petty is releasing a new Album after 8 years, its going to be called "Mojo". He created a tour and most dates have sold out. But, his "Mojo" apparently will not be ready in time to go on such slated tour. So Tom has cancelled/postponed the first 10 tour dates. Most of those dates are in California. The Canadian dates still stand. I unfortunately had tickets to the Hollywood Bowl May 21st performance. I have now had my money refunded and in turn bought a $10 ticket to Adam Freeland in LA for that same night.
You know what Tom, I dont think you should be calling this new album "Mojo", seems your mojo has run out, why dont you call it "Viagra", or "Cialis", waaaaaaaaaaaay more fitting.

This also reminds me to explain why Im cheering for the LA Kings and not the Canucks, I dont have to explain myself, but I will: I have never cheered for Vancouver before, so why start now, if the Kings go far then when Im in LA I can catch a playoff game in LA and that would be rad and a highlight in my life. Go Kings.

Drunk Hipsters

What is the big deal about LCD Soundsystems new video "Drunk Girls". Sorry LCD but I was expecting something more sophisticaed then this. This video to me is just a bunch of hipsters trying to be arty with no money, all trying to out hip eachother and be all "I dont care" cool, but secretly "I care very deeply about being cool". Song is okay, Video is okay, NEXT.

The State of Canadian Film

Okay seriously people, who the hell keeps giving Paul Gross movies?!!!!
Is the state of Canadian Film THAT bad that movies like GUNLESS get the go ahead? And then what, we give him a couple awards a year from now just cuz he made it, because he didnt head south of the boarder to work on Hollywood movies. Are we supposed to feel lucky that Paul Gross sticks with Canadian Film. This new movie seems like its a pardody of itself, but nope, its a reaaaal western.
IMDB.com's description of it reads "A hardened American gunslinger is repeatedly thwarted in his attempts to mount a showdown in a friendly town in Canada where no one seems to understand or appreciate the brutal code of the American Wild West." - OMG are you kidding me?!?!?! LAAAAAAME. Im always shocked what the "majority" of Canada will pay for - Ive seen the pics of sold out stadiums for Nickleback, so I guess this shitastic movie should reeeealllly surprise me.

Why?

uhhhh just watched that distrubing new HEALTH video, that one where the kid takes the stick and ya, that video, sick song but really son, why did that have to be made? Why??? Why Cant I ERASE THAT FROM MY BRAIN?!?!?!! If i ever meet the director or the band of that video, Im gonna kick them in the nards sooooo hard. Fucking wrong!
If you dont know what im talking about, be glad, beeeeeeeeeeeeee glad.

sidenote: however, great cinematography, Ill give you that.

Karma

Okay, so the ONE TIME I ever have sent a letter to a company complaining has landed me some bad karma. I wrote an email to a company, it actrually wasnt a complaint really it was more of a polite suggestion because I really do like the product, I just thought they could use one tiny piece of feedback. And instead of the company writing me back with a polite thank you for the suggestion, they added my email to their daily mailing lists. FML. So everyday I get stupid "updates" of "exciting news" from this fucking company. ARGGH. Ive been hitting the "unsubscribe" option for months. Dammit. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

A Simple Letter

To the loser that clipped my car's side mirror last night and broke off all the plastic,
Thanks man, totally what I wanted to wake up to this morning. Wow, I mean who was I to park my car nicely along the ride side of the road in a complete appropriate position so that you would have had plently of space to move your ghetto ass truck along 2nd ave. No no, wait Im sorry I really should have known you were out drinking and would be passing my house in your truck or gay car, fuck I should have parked a street over because no doubt you have damage on your PT cruiser. You know what, I change my mind. Fuck you man, learn to drive and more importantly dont drink and drive you fucknut.


Sinceley,
Scrapyard

Tweet Tweet

Twitter is now infiltrating Fernie!! WHOA.
Schoolyard Musings has joined up !!!!
Follow @ SchoolyardM

Loonie is on Par.

Loonie closed at 99 cents to the US dollar yesterday.
The USA is tanking!!! Its getting ugly down there.
Even tho the dollar is on par, remember that shopping local will sustain Fernie. You dont spend money here, your wicked little town will dry up. Its your choice, just remember there is always consquences. Target may seem tempting but helllllooooooooo dont sell your soul for cheap ass shit.

Punch in the Face.

Most Annoying Song Ever Made , EVER , Gawd I wanna punch this bitch.

Major Bummer.

While I was at Sham, my most favoritist director of all time died. Im sad.
Director John Hughes suffered the heart attack while taking a morning walk during a trip to NYC to visit family. He was 59.

He directed such '80s hit films as "The Breakfast Club," Weird Science," "Sixteen Candles" and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

Those of you who claim to be an "80's baby," if you do not know who this man is you are NOT an 80's baby.

Green Lawns

With the looming dry weather and low river levels, undoubtly Fernie is going to see some water restrictions. For the last month as I have been walking my dog around "Little Italy" here in downtown Fernie, I cant help but chuckle and roll my eyes at the older generations from mine that are so obsessed with having a perfect lawn. Im sure those generations sneer and chuckle at my people for our habits and obessions. But this perfect lawn thing is so fucking rediculous. Its something that they grew up with that was a measure of a persons worth in society, and having that perfect lawn indicated to the rest of the town how well-to-do and perfect that household seemed. Well, that idea and symbolic gesture somehow was thrown out the window with generation x and y and z. In fact, our generations adore and revere weeds, natural settings and organic gardens. What will the future hold when, no offence, this older population dies off? What will lawns become?
I know mine is only green if it rains and only cut to apease my landlord (and I dont weed wack, cuz I like weeds growing up the walls).
Everynight I look around and see all these spinklers running, litres and litres of water spilling over sidewalks and running down the street as the lawn is saturated.
Good job! Good thing your lawn looks so great! Is it worth it???? realllllly?
There is this one neighbour of mine, this old polish guy. Hes such an angry old man that hes face is permanently beet red. Hes always yelling at people and dogs. I have seen him re-paint his garage drive way jet black every summer. The guy is obessesd with perfection and he just looks soo goddamn miserable. I wish I could slap some relaxed sense into him before he has a stroke. His sprinklers are always on, hes always out there rearranging them and perfecting his lawn. Ahh what a waste of time! Beside the lawn is parked a monster motorhome - with a "for sale" sign on it. Is he selling the motorhome that would bring some fun and adventure into his old life just so he can stay home and manage his home's image? How incredibly sad.
The green lawn obession needs to die. Besides the pesticide problems that harm our health and dwindling clean drinking water problem, we need to think long and hard about this dinosaur behaviour. Bring on the weeds, dandelions and brown grass. Fuck it, spend your time living your life.

Dont Believe The Hype!

Need a passport?
Well, don’t drive to Cranbrook.
Dont believe the hype. The so-called passport centre in Cranbrook that’s located in the Service Canada office is a joke.
The ONLY point of that government service is to just look over your application to make sure you filled in all the correct boxes. They then drop it in the regular mail like you would do from Fernie. And by checking it over, they don’t verify the information you wrote down, just that the spaces are filled with information.
In no way whatsoever can the office in Cranbrook fast track your passport, expedite it, or get it to you any faster in any way other then in the 4-6 week period.
If you want your passport in 2 weeks or less you HAVE to visit the Passport Canada office in a major city.
After driving all the way to Cranbrook instead of using my one day off to drive to Calgary. I was informed once I got there that the whole purpose of my drive was to just have an agent look over my form.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH what a fucking WASTE!!

I actually asked the agent “So, what’s the point of coming here and this office???” Her response, “Oh well we look over your application to make sure you filled it out correctly”.
WTF are people this stupid that the government had to open a secondary office in Cranbrook for this reason??? Service Canada locations offer other services, but the main hype around this was to help the passport process. I specifically recall a media blitz with MP Jim Abbott, toting the great new passport office in Cranbrook. Basically if you are a normal functioning human being and you carefully fill your form out with caution and scrutiny, then drop it in the mail. You will get your passport in the same amount of time that it would take you if you drove to Cranbrook and had the government employees check it over and stick the stamp on it for you.
My trip wasn't a total waste, I had lunch at "East Side Marios" the new restaurant in the old Boston Pizza location. Marios totally kicks Boston Pizzas ass.

Goodbye Cranbrooklyn, Hello Alberta

Brillant! ....NOT

The Vatican announced on International Women's Day, March 8th, that women should give thanks for the washing machine. Because the pope feels the washing machine has liberated women more so then the pill or working. Im not kidding, he actrually said this.
Hey Pope Banjo-Eyes!! Seems to me the pill and the washing machine has done more for women then the vatican ever has.
In the US, 50% of pregnancies are unplanned, and over 50% of those unplanned pregnancies end in abortion, Im sure the vatican has something to do with that.

How can this organization be so out of touch. I would be offended by these comments if I thought the Pope has any relevance to my life or the world im living in. Turd.

to read more click here

Schoolyard is Pulling Her Hair Out....

There is just something so cringe worthy about Facebook statuses.
I just cant help feeling a twinge of embarrassment for my “friends” when they update their current status as something rather negative, nasty or just plain sad. I can’t entirely place my finger on it, but there’s just something really tacky about it. Sure, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, I’m no Stepford wife, but really, when I read “So-In So is tired of playing the game” or “So-In So just wants everyone to fuck off”. I feel icky icky poo poo for them. Does everyone need to know this? Facebook is vast, you’ll be hard luck to find a Facebooker that limits there page to just closest friends and family. When you state such a negative status, lots of random people see it. Doesn’t that concern or embarrass you?
Maybe I’m too harsh but it’s that fine line of what society sees and accepts and what leaves a room awkward in silence. TMI. (Too much information in cyber talk)
One on my best friends and I actually have an inside joke about a mutual friend we both see on Facebook consistently updating her status to the most cringe worthy, roll-my-eyes status regarding her lack of love life, or whatever love strife she is having that day. We actually LOL and point and once it was so bad and embarrassing I emailed my friend to go look at it. Naturally you get a few pity givers leaving a few comments like “whats up?” or “don’t worry, you rock guuurl!”. Ahhh keep that shit to yourself. Seriously. Facebook is so outta hand, people take it far too personal and subject their inner world, their thoughts, feelings, relationship drama to the masses of their “friends”. Stop the madness!!! Your personal life is personal, the whole town does not need to know that your ex boyfriend is a dick or that you are having a fight with another friend in which you try to appear that you are taking the “high road” with some quirky remark like “So-In So is looking to the future and not the ugly past”. Blah!!!
I see many of my “friends” on Facebook having these ridiculous updates and the thing is, I don’t know most of them well enough to message them a “oh call me and we can talk”, or “what’s wrong hun?”. I just cringe and move on quickly.
Once a concert promoter added me as a friend. I completely do not know him but I accepted his friend request so I could see his profile and messages for what concerts were coming up. But instead, I followed his status for a few months by accidently reading it on my News Feed everyday. He was super happy one day and right pissed off the next and on to so depressed that I actually recall it saying something about him “not deserving to have love in his life”. I shouldn’t scoff at his heartbreak, but come on buddy soooo inappropriate and unprofessional. I deleted him soon after. I also had a high school girl as a friend who is from a rather prominent family in town, her status one day was something to the effect “girls call me a slut, well shove that cum down your throat bitch”. I was mortified for her. I deleted her. Icky.
When I see these people in real life I politely say “Oh hey how’s it going”, even though I just read my New Feed and in my head I’m thinking , “oh ya you got kicked outta your apartment for partying too much and your cat is your only friend, please don’t talk to me about this!!” And they reply “ohh things are good, and you?”, disclosing nothing because they don’t know me that well and once applied for a job where I worked. These people have way more balls on a laptop then in real life I find.

Its amazing to me how Facebook has captivated our lives right to the very core. I had a very good girlfriend call me very very upset. She had JUST broken up with her long term boyfriend. But instead of her calling me to analyze and discuss it, she called me in distress asking if she could come over and use my computer ASAP. I said “sure, why?”, and she replied “because I HAVE to end the Facebook relationship first, cuz if I login tomorrow and he did it before me I will feel like I lost, I need him to logon and see I ended it first!!”
Wow. True, logging in to a computer to see that the once love of your life “officially” ended it, that would suck, that would be salt in the wound for sure.
As if this is even happening!!!?? Right? Am I on crazy pills? How did we let this happen? Are relationship and marriage counselors scrambling how to deal with this new psychological craziness that now is an important part of our individual existence on this planet?
Very recently I also had a nice sit down chat with a lovely girl. She disclosed to me that she had met a great guy, the whole package, however, they just had their first fight, and it wasn’t going good since. I asked, “Oh my, what happened??” She continued to tell me that she asked him to change his relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” from his current “single” status. He didn’t want to and she was very offended. She thought “Doesn’t he want the world to know he is not single anymore??? Cuz he isn’t? Right??” She was left doubting if he was a faithful guy, because to the masses he was “single”.
I do see her point, but again FACEBOOK HAS GOTTEN TOO PERSONAL.
Dating status should have NEVER been an option on Facebook. Everyone is on crazy pills now. But that’s just the way it is, we let it get out of control and now on top of all the shit we human beings have to deal with in this lifetime, we have gone ahead and added a new element to deal with.
What’s next, GPS tracking on our cell phones? Oh shit!! That is happening!
**pulling my hair out
I’m highly annoyed and tsk’ing my finger at all of you that expose me to your personal thoughts, feelings, and drama that is not society friendly. They had something right in the 50’s, keep your shit behind closed doors.

My status today “Schoolyard is eating ramen noodles and fucking loving it”. Updated at 3am Feb 25th 2009.
( see how even that is too personal? From that you can tell I got home drunk from the bar and completely through out my new beach bod regime)

Oh Really?

The Farmers Almanac 2009 predictions for Southern BC:
February 2009
Avg. Temperature: 2°C (5°C above avg. north, 1°C below south)
Precipitation: 90mm (10mm above avg. northeast, 50mm below southwest)
Feb. 1-12: Occasional rain coast, snow showers inland; mild
Feb. 13-21: Sunny, seasonable
Feb. 22-28: Rainy periods coast, snow inland; seasonable

March 2009
Avg. Temperature: 2°C (2°C below avg.)
Precipitation: 100mm (avg.)
Mar. 1-7: Showers coast, snow showers inland; cold
Mar. 8-11: Rain coast, snow inland
Mar. 12-19: Showers coast, snow showers inland; cold
Mar. 20-22: Sunny, mild
Mar. 23-31: Occasional rain coast, occasional snow inland

Winter will be milder than normal, with above-normal rainfall in the west, above-normal snowfall in the southeast, and below-normal snow and precipitation in the northeast. The coldest temperatures will occur in mid- and late January, with the heaviest snows in mid-December and mid-January.
April and May will be cooler than normal, with below-normal precipitation in all areas but the northeast.
Summer will be cooler and rainier than normal, with the hottest temperatures in early July.
September and October will be cooler than normal, with precipitation below normal near the coast and above normal inland.


That book is full of shit.