Couldnt of said it better myself.

New TV!

Did you guys catch the Cleveland Show premiere last night? I Likey!!! Super Funny!Liked it more then the Family Guy premiere.

Monday Morning Musings

Deep in the woods.

The cops should know by now, when there is a jump in sales of neon spray paint, something must be up...

Thanks Fernie Yacht Club for-end-of-summer-monster-wicked-awesome-secret-party-of-all-parties. Buy those boys a beer when you see 'em.


And to those who think Fernie doesnt have a "scene", ha ha fuck you.

Top Ten Reasons Ed Hardy Sucks

Click Here Read The To Ten Reasons Ed Hady Sucks

Let there be rave.

The Fernie Yacht Club hoists up the ankor and sets sail on another glorious expedish this weekend. Click Here for the preview.
Batten down the hatches folks, shits gonna be rockin.

Coming to Fernie

In my ongoing hate for Telus, Im happy to tell you that the Valley will have Shaw Digital Phone coming this spring. Yes Im an ex-shaw employee, BUT I still think Shaw's internet and digital services are the best and most reliable. You can hookup digital phone and keep your old landline phone number too, plus you can bundle it with your cable or interent and save money. They are laying the fibre optic cable as I type.

And one more thing, after all these years of a completely exhausted marketing campaign, I hope Telus has good working conditions for all those animals . Why isnt PETA all over them yet? Set the frogs and monkeys free!!!! Jerks.

Ink in the Valley

Poison Apple Tattoo shop is opening early Novemeber by Kalvin's Kitchen. NEAT! Now you can get a milkshake and Chinese food to go with your tattoo.
Stay tuned for the opening party details.

This shop is legit, no funny business, they pay taxes, they are completely certified by the health inspector and Becka is ONE AMAZING ARTIST!!!

Congrats! Nice to see young creative people catching a break here in Fernie.

LOLs

This kid could pass as mine...

Stop fingering the world

Is it just me, or when all those "call to Vote" reality shows have the contestants hold up their fingers to indicate what number they are to vote for, isnt it SO ANNOYING. Seriously, of all the shows that do this, for all the years that they have been on, Why do all the contestants do sign language thing?? Give it up already. Clearly I watch too much television.

It still makes me tear up.

Nothing get me more upset then the Robert Dziekanski case, I have been following it closely since the shit went down. I especially liked this article today. Cuz, NO SHIT!

CBC News:
A senior B.C. Mountie says police in the province should not investigate themselves anymore because the public no longer believes they are doing a good job.

"We are not perceived publicly to be able to investigate ourselves. The perception and the reporting that occurs is unwinnable," RCMP Supt. Wayne Rideout told the Braidwood Inquiry, which resumed Tuesday its probe into the 2007 death of Robert Dziekanski at Vancouver airport.

Rideout was the officer in charge of the Integrated Homicide Investigation Team, which investigated Dziekanski's demise. The Polish immigrant died after four RCMP officers deployed a Taser stun gun on him five times and then left him handcuffed on the floor of the airport's arrivals lounge. To read the rest of the article click here.

And on another fucked up note related to the people we are supposed to respect, today a BC court has dropped all the polygamy charges against Winston Blackmore, of the now infamous Bountiful BC Mormon dude with 19 wives. To read why the fucked up reasonings of why they dropped the charges, click here Are you kidding me????

Neat.

Alright, even tho I think The Black Eyed Peas new song is GAY GAY GAY. And Im happy its Oprah's new theme song cuz thats a kick in the balls for the latin guy in the group, this video is pretty neat. Neat because as a former video/film student I can appricate how fucking hard this was. Good Job. I think it's by some Montreal students...

I wont be there for it, but you should go.

Remembering my love

Although I was kinda expecting the news, Patrick Swayze was just another painful loss to this year of endless funerals.

My top five Swayze roles:
5. Chippendales - SNL skit
4. Sam - Ghost
3. To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
2. Johnny - Dirty Dancing
1. Bondi - Point Break

Patrick was the best, a gentleman, and a man that could kick your ass and/or mop the dance floor with you. He was my dream man. RIP.

Wellness

From the Facebook event page:
Elk Valley residents are eager to lead healthy lifestyles. A great way to compliment this way of life is to celebrate the importance of holistic practices and services available in our area.

The Fernie Wellness Fair raises awareness of healthy living, creates a connection between people and community, promoting a positive approach toward health and wellness. Reflecting the interests of good physical and mental heatlth in our community, The Fernie Wellness Fair will show case community health, arts and culture.

Everyone is welcome! Attend free workshops, entertainment, prizes, healthy food and fun!

See you October 17th!

15 minutes

If you would like to be on tv, and are a plus size woman, please contact howtolookgoodnakedcanada@insighttv.com They need women with hips 51''+ and it is a paid job. You also get a free lingerie set (bra and panties). Please email howtolo...okgoodnakedcanada@insighttv.com

So Fresh

Even tho these assholes are probabley gonna put downtown Fernie out of business one day, I gotta admit, aside from all "one-time-use throw-away" clothes, the underwear at Joe Fresh is simply put: "The Best I've Ever Had". Holla Joe.

Amazeballs.

The Office season premiere was on last night, it you missed it you are a suckkka!
Here are some highlights:


OMG I cant wait for the 30 Rock premiere on Oct. 15th.

Sorry.

BAHAHHA remember Kanye's blog apology to Taylor Swift?
check this "Kanye West" apology generator...
mine was this:
I'M SOOOOO SORRY TO Randal MacNair AND Kyle Hudon FOR jumping THE speaker. I SPOKE TO Kyle Hudon RIGHT AFTER. Randal MacNair IS VERY entertaining !!........... I'M IN THE WRONG FOR dancing AND slamming!!!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!!! I'M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT Freyja. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO Randal MacNair 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I'M A FAN OF West Fernie!!! myself KNOW!!! BOOOOYAAAWWWWW!!!!! Ballin I GAVE MY front lawn TO Mary Giuliano WHEN THEY DESERVED IT... THAT'S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!!!!! I'M NOT CRAZY YALL, I'M JUST BEING REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!!MUCH RESPECT!!!!!

September 17th

Shout Out

Just wanna give a shout out to Best Buy employees right now.
They really really took the time to deal with all my indecivness and diva behaviour this past weekend. And after all my crap, what I wanted was out of stock. AWWWW CRAP.
So, the message here is, shop Best Buy if you can't find what you want in Fernie, and secondly, call ahead and make sure what you want is in stock before you drive to Calgary.

And the winner is...

The awards that nobody cares about, "The Community and Business Excellence Awards" from the Chamber of Commerce is happening October 22nd. Pick up entry forms to nominate someone or a business at Freshies or Big Bang Bagels, if you care and even know what Im talking about.

Running is easy to get good at.

I havent seen much advertising for it, so here you go:
FERNIE HALF MARATHON

I would if I could

Oh WOW, this painting course offered through the Fernie Arts Station sounds AMAZING!
If I wasnt going to be surfing in Maui that month, Id totally be in this class:

Mandala Painting
Tuesays October 13-November 10 10:00am-12:00 noon
If “Ring of Fire” “Guardians & Gates”, and “Sacred Centre” pique your curiosity then take this chance to try this wonderful circle painting form. Each class begins with ‘scribbles’ and grounding movement… then quietly goes into one 5 week detailed, structured painting with personal symbols of your choosing. Beginners and return students welcome. Cost: $89 includes gouache & all materials
call Oz at the Station to register NOW before its full, cuz you know it will be 423-4842
Oh and for those who dont know what a Mandala is CLICK HERE

buzz.

Should be a good'er

Taste of Fernie is this weekend in Fernie, the weather should be good and the vendors this year stack up nicely.

Things you need to know:

1. Starts at Noon this Saturday. Fun for all ages, more fun for adults laterrrrr.
2. Barney Bentall is the headliner (Barney Bentall) B' is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. It does cost some money, but the proceeds go to the Rotary Club and they do LOTS OF GOOD THINGS in this community. Trust me, good cause, drop your money and stop bitching.
4. Friday night is also a good time, buuuut tickets are prolly sold out, so good luck with that.
5. Shred Kelly plays at 5pm on Saturday too.
6. The Mountain Market is on, adjacent to the food vendors, bring cash!
7. Think about volunteering. Ive been volunteering like 4 years now, I do it cuz its a 'TIME!
8. "Moka Only" from Swollen Members fame, ya remember them, will be at Bulldogs late that night, get there early if you want in. Bulldogs did a bunch of renos this week, supposedly its gonna be more "night club'ish" in there now, so you can "find youself in the club" nowadays. neat.

If you need to know anything else go here to TASTE OF FERNIE

mmmm see ya thurrr

On another funny note, speaking of Swollen Members, they have a new video, its so so so dum, like waaaaaaaaaaay more dum then all the Ed Hardy shoes in the world. They went from rich chicks, skateboards and pools to Asian bike gangs, and dirty warehouses with prostitutes. WTF HAHAHAHAHA good luck with that, dont come to Fernie, keep that shit in Surrey.

Why?

Is that old man Fred Durst in those cell phone commericals that run over and over again on the US channels? WHHYYY???

I was wrong.

Okay, I have to admit, my friends were right. They told me to just keep reading the Twilight series, even tho I found it ridiculous, silly and boring. But, turns out, it was a great read, they are SO TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
Cant wait for the next movie, "New Moon" out November 20th.

OMG OMG OMG

I have discovered a new ceaser!!!
Its called the Mediterranean Ceaser, and its deeeelish!

So this is what you gotta do:

1. Get a tall glass with ice and rim it with coarse salt
2. Squeeze some fresh lime in there, sprinkle some tobasco
3. Add your preference of vodka
4. Splash in some basalmic vingear
5. Add a small handful of half size cucumber slices (cut off the dark green outer part) and a teaspoon of fresh minced garlic
6. Fill with clam
7. Garnish with a kalamata olive

You are just gonna DIE!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
You are so so welcome!

Over-use

I wonder what T-Pain would sound like without Auto-Tune?

Jeez!

Poor little Taylor, thats was crazy shit.

Progressss???

The Drive FM:
New Fernie Golf Course Takes Step Forward
The group looking to build a golf course resort in Fernie has taken a step forward.

Fernie mayor Cindy Corrigan says proponents of the Coal Creek Golf resort have made an offer to the city to purchase 34 acres of land that they've been eyeing for some time.

Corrigan says the next step is for lawyers to work on a consolidation of the property.

The Spirit of Fernie...kinda smells like beer and burning oil

Wow. Derby weekend has come and gone, my wallet is empty and my head hurts. Summer is over poeple, have you seen all the snow on Mt. Fernie?

Used Book Store in Fernie

Hey you guys all know there is a new Used Book Store in Fernie right?
Just giving you the head up.

Books Anew
1501 - 8th Ave (ANNEX)
Beside Kootenay Taxi, behind the car wash in the little house.
423-4100
booksanew@shaw.ca

They do trades! Neat.

Upstairs

Soooo, they are going ahead with the restaurant uptairs of the old Livery building. If the resturant is anything like how they re-did the store on the main floor, I think this will be the addition that downtown Fernie so so badly needed.
And our boy Farkas is the head chef!!! Should be opening late November!! Woot Woot!

Hump Day Download

I LOVE THIS MIX
Its gonna help this Wednesday cruise into Thursday just that much faster...
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD "DANCE DANCE DANCE BY DJ GRANDTHEFT"

Mark Steele, Eat Your Heart Out

Please Dont

A fall election?
Are you kidding me????
NO. DONT DO IT!
Not that us here in Fernie have a fucking real choice in our voting or matter at all to Ottawa. But the Liberals need to first concentrate on getting their party's image and confidence up to a decent fucking standard level before taking on Harper. Marketing 101 you narrsissitic assholes.

Whyyyyy are you doing this. BAD TIMING. LET Harper deal with this economy shit and ride us out. Dont pull a Carole James and act all as if you REALLLLY would have done a better job or not have done the exact same plan anyway. Fuck Off!

Michael, dont listen to your people, have you ever read "the Emperors New Clothes"? its a short read, you can fit it in your schedule.

Sorry for the ranting, you know how politics make me feel.

WEIRD

Mack Culkin is the daddy?

Happening

Your smile is a first impression

Seriously, have you tried these floss rubber stick things? They're awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do young-ish people here in Fernie neglect their teeth so much? I dont get it? You'd rather buy a hoodie then get your teeth cleaned and checked out? I hate the dentist too, but I understand that no matter how cool my hoodie is, when I smile and my teeth are shitty I am no longer really that attractive, my first impression to someone has really turned them off - no matter how many cool hoodies I have. Also, you cant get another set of teeth, unless they are fake and that sucks and is painful. If you cant find the money to maintain your teeth now, how do you expect to find the money later for costly surgeries and shit. Ahhhhh Im not your mother, but grow up, but Im just pointing out out obvious. PS. Good oral hygiene leads to a longer life lived - studies have proved it.
To all of you that keep up your teeth, gold stars for you!

Fall Trend - Distressed Denim

You wanna be cool this fall, like Brenda Fucking Walsh cool?
Distressed Denim is waaay in.
Here are some tips to make your denim ultra hip:

•A knife: You will need to place a block of wood inside the leg to offer some support and an adequate surface to press against. Rub the surface of the pants as though “shaving”, in any direction. Achieve the look you want, but respect the integrity of the fabric.

•A cheese grater: With some practice, you can achieve some very special looks with a cheese grater. The rougher side will produce a very interesting pattern of abuse on the denim.

•Sand Paper: This is my favorite tool, as it comes in many different “grits”. "Grit" refers to the number of abrasive particles per square inch of sandpaper. The lower the grit the rougher the sandpaper. Start with a medium grit and work up to a finer one for more control. You will achieve better results than with a knife. You can also find abrasive “sponges” in different grits. These are great to work with, as they are very easy to hold.

The more localized control that sandpaper offers will allow you to selectively fray pockets, hemlines, or any other part that you think will add to the natural worn look that you are after. You will also be able to more naturally blend the worn out areas with those not so worn out.

Do not weaken the stitching, this will only shorten the life of your creation. Place objects in the pockets, such as a round or rectangular drink coasters, and sand around their shape. This gives a very realistic worn wallet effect.

•Pumice Stones: These are also very effective tools for sanding denim. They work great for roughing up the edges of cut holes. As with the sandpaper, you can moisten the pumice in bleach.

•Power tools: You can also use power tools with grinding tips or other abrasive attachments. They will help you do things faster, but at the risk of overdoing. A Dremel Moto Tool is probably the easiest to handle and there are special tips with sandpaper attached.

Diggin it

I love this girl! Like, I wanna take her out to dinner.
http://www.myspace.com/anjulie

She's canadian too, so thats always neat.

Stella Got Her Groove Back

Oprah's premiere is only 13 days away! Ahhhhh Im counting down the fucking days!
Her premiere will be with Whitney Houston!
Fuck its gonna be good.
Miss Whitney is making a mad comeback with her new album, dont dismiss this crazy bitch, Whitney is of the the original divas and deserves maddddd respect. Bitch has sold some 170 million combined albums, singles and videos.
Music historians cite Whitney's record-setting achievements: the only artist to chart seven consecutive #1 Billboard Hot 100 hits; the first female artist to enter the Billboard 200 album chart at #1 (her second album, Whitney, 1987); and the only artist with seven consecutive multi-platinum albums! Shit Son!

So I think its appriopriate that because I am hitting up the MSTRKFT show this Friday, that I leave you with this song...

Derby Weekend

OMG its like better then Christmas!
Turn to page 36 in the September Fernie Fix for a Derby Survival Guide.

See ya there. Sunday September 6th.

New Look

The Free Press has a new website, its for sure an upgrade to 2003 from their 1999 verison.
You can read all about why Simon Howse's Parastone development has stalled.
When I read the article (in the actual paper paper), Fernie suddenly remined me of the fat kid at summer camp. That poor fat kid lagging behind all the other kids running down the path.
Im afraid that this fat aint gunna catch up to other BC smalltown kids...bummer for us.
The Free Press