ITS BACK!

Roll Up the Rim is BACK!! Why didnt anyone tell me sooner!??
YAY!

hahaha Chad.

Living on a Prayer

This amazing guy was caught on the Jumbotron at a Celtics game. I love him!

Weekend Planner

Friday Night Options
1. Bottle of Wine on the leather couch at the Old Elevator.
2. Go Dance at the Royal with the Fernie Yacht Club
3. Hob Nob with the Fernie mountain elite at the Fernie Mountain Film Festival.
Friday Feb 27th – Saturday the 28th.
Takes place at the Community Centre
You an even buy tix online at www.ferniefilmfestival.com
.

Saturday Night Options
Massively different options:
1. Punk Show at the Nothern – Knucklehead and Rum Runner
$5 at the Door and Jack specials and cheap beer – Uhhhh sooo punk rock of you!
2. Drum and Bass Master DJ – Benny Page
$10 Tix at Freyja and Commit, babes in tanks and fucked up dudes.
Opening set by PJ!
3. Ghostriders Vs.Golden Playoff game at home.
4. Hob Nob with the Fernie mountain elite at the Fernie Mountain Film Festival.

The Only Thing In My Day Planner...

New 30 Rocks are on in case you are missing it, missing this show would suck.
I love this show so much I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.



Next Episode This Thursday:
NEW! Jack realizes he has to choose between his relationship with Elisa and his career. Salma Hayek, Larry King, and Meredith Vieira guest star

Thursday 10:30pm Global TV Channel 11.

Schoolyard is Pulling Her Hair Out....

There is just something so cringe worthy about Facebook statuses.
I just cant help feeling a twinge of embarrassment for my “friends” when they update their current status as something rather negative, nasty or just plain sad. I can’t entirely place my finger on it, but there’s just something really tacky about it. Sure, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, I’m no Stepford wife, but really, when I read “So-In So is tired of playing the game” or “So-In So just wants everyone to fuck off”. I feel icky icky poo poo for them. Does everyone need to know this? Facebook is vast, you’ll be hard luck to find a Facebooker that limits there page to just closest friends and family. When you state such a negative status, lots of random people see it. Doesn’t that concern or embarrass you?
Maybe I’m too harsh but it’s that fine line of what society sees and accepts and what leaves a room awkward in silence. TMI. (Too much information in cyber talk)
One on my best friends and I actually have an inside joke about a mutual friend we both see on Facebook consistently updating her status to the most cringe worthy, roll-my-eyes status regarding her lack of love life, or whatever love strife she is having that day. We actually LOL and point and once it was so bad and embarrassing I emailed my friend to go look at it. Naturally you get a few pity givers leaving a few comments like “whats up?” or “don’t worry, you rock guuurl!”. Ahhh keep that shit to yourself. Seriously. Facebook is so outta hand, people take it far too personal and subject their inner world, their thoughts, feelings, relationship drama to the masses of their “friends”. Stop the madness!!! Your personal life is personal, the whole town does not need to know that your ex boyfriend is a dick or that you are having a fight with another friend in which you try to appear that you are taking the “high road” with some quirky remark like “So-In So is looking to the future and not the ugly past”. Blah!!!
I see many of my “friends” on Facebook having these ridiculous updates and the thing is, I don’t know most of them well enough to message them a “oh call me and we can talk”, or “what’s wrong hun?”. I just cringe and move on quickly.
Once a concert promoter added me as a friend. I completely do not know him but I accepted his friend request so I could see his profile and messages for what concerts were coming up. But instead, I followed his status for a few months by accidently reading it on my News Feed everyday. He was super happy one day and right pissed off the next and on to so depressed that I actually recall it saying something about him “not deserving to have love in his life”. I shouldn’t scoff at his heartbreak, but come on buddy soooo inappropriate and unprofessional. I deleted him soon after. I also had a high school girl as a friend who is from a rather prominent family in town, her status one day was something to the effect “girls call me a slut, well shove that cum down your throat bitch”. I was mortified for her. I deleted her. Icky.
When I see these people in real life I politely say “Oh hey how’s it going”, even though I just read my New Feed and in my head I’m thinking , “oh ya you got kicked outta your apartment for partying too much and your cat is your only friend, please don’t talk to me about this!!” And they reply “ohh things are good, and you?”, disclosing nothing because they don’t know me that well and once applied for a job where I worked. These people have way more balls on a laptop then in real life I find.

Its amazing to me how Facebook has captivated our lives right to the very core. I had a very good girlfriend call me very very upset. She had JUST broken up with her long term boyfriend. But instead of her calling me to analyze and discuss it, she called me in distress asking if she could come over and use my computer ASAP. I said “sure, why?”, and she replied “because I HAVE to end the Facebook relationship first, cuz if I login tomorrow and he did it before me I will feel like I lost, I need him to logon and see I ended it first!!”
Wow. True, logging in to a computer to see that the once love of your life “officially” ended it, that would suck, that would be salt in the wound for sure.
As if this is even happening!!!?? Right? Am I on crazy pills? How did we let this happen? Are relationship and marriage counselors scrambling how to deal with this new psychological craziness that now is an important part of our individual existence on this planet?
Very recently I also had a nice sit down chat with a lovely girl. She disclosed to me that she had met a great guy, the whole package, however, they just had their first fight, and it wasn’t going good since. I asked, “Oh my, what happened??” She continued to tell me that she asked him to change his relationship status on Facebook to “in a relationship” from his current “single” status. He didn’t want to and she was very offended. She thought “Doesn’t he want the world to know he is not single anymore??? Cuz he isn’t? Right??” She was left doubting if he was a faithful guy, because to the masses he was “single”.
I do see her point, but again FACEBOOK HAS GOTTEN TOO PERSONAL.
Dating status should have NEVER been an option on Facebook. Everyone is on crazy pills now. But that’s just the way it is, we let it get out of control and now on top of all the shit we human beings have to deal with in this lifetime, we have gone ahead and added a new element to deal with.
What’s next, GPS tracking on our cell phones? Oh shit!! That is happening!
**pulling my hair out
I’m highly annoyed and tsk’ing my finger at all of you that expose me to your personal thoughts, feelings, and drama that is not society friendly. They had something right in the 50’s, keep your shit behind closed doors.

My status today “Schoolyard is eating ramen noodles and fucking loving it”. Updated at 3am Feb 25th 2009.
( see how even that is too personal? From that you can tell I got home drunk from the bar and completely through out my new beach bod regime)

Hot Dog Day

Slated for April 8th.

Shepard Fairey on CBS

CBS did a feature on OBEY creator Shepard Fairey...check it out....

Watch CBS Videos Online

Obey is available at Freyja.

Dad Exploits His Kid For Our Benefit- WATCH IT

Hump Day

AHHH Love this MASHUP!!!!
Listen Here:


Download it here:
http://audio.isg.si/audiox/?q=node/31711

West Coast.

Stacey Peralta, of Dogtown and Z-Boys fame, has made and new doc about the Bloods and the Crips gangs in LA. Considering how much gangster life has influenced our lives even here in Fernie (music, oversized pants, bandanas, calling ladies bitches and hos, "thug-life" white boys, spliffs, sipping gin and juice) Im really excited to catch this. Hmmmm I wonder if the Advocates for Local Living will host this at their Think Tank Cinema?? Its supposed to have a msessage of hope! I doubt it.

Weekend Planner. Rockstar Weekend!

Your weekend planner is here!
Friday Feb 20th

BC/DC is back in Fernie at the Northern. (AC/DC cover band) I used to think I was totally over these guys, but I don’t think Ive seen them play in 2 years. It was a good break. Time to go back in black!!! Expect a cover charge and it to smell reeeeeally gross in there; however you are gaurenteed to have a fuck load of fun. Yours truely will be in Banff Alberta with the Fernie Yacht Club setting the roof on fire at the Hoodoo Lounge.

Saturday Feb 21st:

GET to the Underground! Rock ICON night. Not just any Rockstar wannabe or groupie costume party. Rock Icons and World Famous Divas only. This is your chance to live in someone else’s shoes. Guest List includes: Tina Turner, Cher, Madonna, Simon and Garfunkel… just to name a few. You Realllllly Can’t Miss Out!! This night also includes DJ Friendly Fire and Fedski warming up the dance floor for Calgary DJ Neighbour and MC Think Tank. OHH the sweaty diva moments to be had. Its also yours truely's birthday night, so expect some diva moments, random makeouts and some smudged mascara.
PS. Upstairs at the Brickhouse is Troy Cook’s 40th birthday bash! That corner of the 2nd Ave is going to be bumpin up and down! Ohhhhh the fuckery!

Feb 22nd

Oooooooooo the Oscars are coming Sunday Feb 22nd.
Ooooooooooooooo I dont care.
Instead! Watch one of my most favorite dvds in my collection,
UNCLE BUCK!
No it never won an oscar, but it wins for sooo many other reasons:
Check out one of my fav scenes here:

Call me old, but this is humorous, clever, witty, well written and acted. I just cant take all these new shock-factor, over-the-top vulgar comedies these days like "My Best Friends Girl" or Seth Rogan's attempts. Im takin' it back to the old school and you should too. Leave the penis jokes for another day.

Community Benefit

Many of us in the Fernie community have strong connections with Australian friends and visitors. In light of this, The Fernie Hotel and Pub is hosting a Community Benefit to extend some Fernie spirit and support to the people who have been affected by the Australian Bushfire tragedies. Proceeds raised will be donated to the Australian Red Cross fund.

If possible, they are collecting some donations to be auctioned during the benefit – if anyone can help by donating an item from your business or personally, it would be very much appreciated.

Thank you for your support and we hope to see you on this Sunday - February 22 at 4 pm at the Fernie Hotel & Pub.

Watch This

I dont do Fantasy Football, but this shit is whaaack.

Good Try Lady

When I heard Carole James rambling and scrambling for criticism on today's new Liberal budget I…

a. rolled my eyes and threw my shoe at the tv

b. rolled my eyes and ate an entire tobblerone

c. rolled my eyes and scratched my ass

answer: b

Blue Skies

YAY!

Have you noticed its staying light out for longer???? I saw blue skies till 6 over Mt Fernie!

Hang in there, spring is right around the corner. Eff U Griz.

Possible Humiliation

A friend of mine recently admitted to me that whenever she is at another person’s house she takes a precaution in the bathroom in order to save herself from possible humiliation.
Before she uses the toilet, she gives it first a test flush. She explained that the very idea of plugging or overflowing the toilet at another’s house is so unbelievably mortifying that she takes this necessary step in order to completely remove the possibility of that happening.
I thought “OMG, does everyone do this? Because causing a toilet to overflow is soooo crazy embarrassing!! Now I am going to have to do this every time too”. But what if the other people in the house hear you flush twice! Will they think you just did some business that required a double flush, because THAT is embarrassing too!
Then it made me think of my sister. She runs the tap while she’s peeing so no one will hear the pee hitting the water sound (even though every time I hear the tap running I giggle and I totally know she’s peeing and trying to hide it). So now I have to run the water and flush the toilet twice in order to save myself from possible humiliation.
Why why why did I have to think about this????!! I used to save so much more water!

FYI

Did you know that everything you've loaded up into your profile (personal pictures, etc.) belongs to Facebook, even after you've closed your account?
That's what it says in the Terms of Service you agreed to when you opened your account, apparently.
The Consumerist recently uncovered this disturbing info and it's causing quite a stir.
So, what does this mean?
Basically, Facebook can do whatever the hell they want with YOUR STUFF.
And, they can do so WITHOUT your permission.
For example, they can license your personal pictures out to companies, make a shizzle of money and don't have to give you a dime.

Mr. Fernie

ITS COMING MARCH 4TH!!!

CONTESTANTS WANTED!
You Got What It Takes?


Who Who Who Will do it this year???
Sign Up at the Brickhouse!

Drugs are Bad.

Okay, I still cant figure out if Joaquin Phoenix is just pulling an elaborate Borat type spoof on us with this rap career or what, but here is his interview with Dave Letterman on Feb 12th. Jesus, what is he on??? This better be a prank!

Date Night!

I went out on Valentine’s Day evening for dinner and dancing. Because there was no way this single lady was going to spend the evening home alone. For two reasons, that just sounds sad and secondly I always have fun out with my single friends on one of the stupidest days of the year. Seriously! And when I received a text from a friend in Vancouver that she was at a wedding and had just been subjected to doing the “chicken dance” I realized things could be waaaay worse, suddenly my beer tasted even better.
I had a great time out as usual, however; I couldn’t help walking home at 2am with a few pet peeves rolling around in my head from the night.

Smile This!:
Why do guys seem to think that by telling a girl to “smile” it’s going to score them a smile back? Really?? Is this a pick up line???? It’s awful and nothing is worse then when you are actually having a good time and someone says that. Perhaps you were just scanning the room for where your drunk-ass friend took off to, or you might be lost in thought and some fucker sticks his face in yours are demands “hey smile lady”. AHHHH it makes me want to punch you in the face, not smile. And I am having a good time, thanks! It’s like when someone says “ohhh you look tired” and even though maybe you are tired, the fact that someone pointed it out makes you think, “oh gee thanks, I look like shit, if I was feeling crappy before, well now I really feel like shit, I should just go home and put on more makeup then Ru-Paul.”
My Ovaries Shriveled a Little When:
Kids!!! Some peoples kids! Fuck, nothing like making reservations, getting dressed up, paying $80 for dinner, and some peoples kids are running and screaming around the restaurant. Ya, good times..NOT. And despite our dirty glances towards the parents, they didn’t seem to give a shit that their bloody awful children were ruining the evening for everyone in the restaurant on fucking Valentines Day. I scowled at them as they climbed into their SUVs with Alberta plates. How Rude!
Back the F Up:
“Night at the Roxbury’ed”! When ladies are on the dance floor, bumping into them over and over again is not going to get you laid. If we are dancing and we are into you, you will KNOW. But after 15 minutes of a girl slowly inching herself AWAY from you or her girlfriends make a huge cockblock for you. Take a hint, move on. To the guy in the crisp white polo tee and crisp white hat: Dude, take that smirk and boner back to where you came from.

Foot Tappin'

Heeeeeyy.

Coming off a spanktacular weekend, Im already super excited about the next one coming up.

First just wanna thank the Fernie Yacht Club for hosting Atomic Hooligan and Lusicious Beats at the Royal. Woot woot good good times! Those who came know what im sayin ahhhh so good!

If you are unfamiliar with the Fernie Yacht Club, today is your lucky day as I give you the key to dancing in Fernie. These fine, yet rugged gentlemen will give you your thrills and chills on the dance floor every Friday night at the Royal. Breaking it down every week for the last 5 years, they have been a consistent part of the Fernie music scene as they have attracted many hot babes and sweaty foreigners to hither and linger on their speakers.
The story goes:
The Fernie Yacht Club banded together one frigid, stormy evening in March 1776. Four DJ's were sailing their schooners on a search for what was rumored to be the biggest haul of beaver pelts known to the Old World. Upon arriving in port mother nature reached down her hand and capsized all 4 of the mighty vessels leaving only 4 phonographs untouched. Taking this as a sign the DJs set them up on the beach and started belting the biggest tunes the 18th century had ever heard. Before they knew it the townspeople came running in huge groups to the shoreline eager to dance the night away. As the sun came up and the dancing began winding down the yacht club made an unprecedented decision. They decided to hand out all the beaver pelts to the hard partying townspeople so they could stay warm. As a show of gratitude the townspeople built the Dj's a clubhouse and from there the Fernie Yacht Club was formed. Fast forward 200 years and the yacht club can still be found playing to dance floors all over the East Kootenays. Check back for upcoming productions from the FYC.

This week the boys ship off for a Canadian Rockies Tour:
Thursday Feb 19th Misty’s Nightclub Cranbrook BC
Friday Feb 20th Hoodoo Lounge Banff Alberta

To learn more or download mixes go : www.myspace.com/fernieyachtclub

Speaker Drizzle

Atomic Hooligan Feb 12 2009 at the Royal Hotel.

Ain't no party like a Fernie party until the bass cuts out for a few minutes! Haha Atomic Hooligan sure brought lots of hype to town, however, didn't rock dance floor as hard as I was expecting. Obviously very talented, but he looked rather bored up there, hes done it a million times and you could tell. Whatever I suppose, everyone was happy to be dancing so that's always a successful evening. 2.9 out of 6 party balls.

Tonight at the Royal catch Nelson girls Luscious Beats! Hollaaaa!

Dont Renew!

Shitty,

the New York Times is saying that Sirius might be filing for bankruptcy soon.

When Its Gotta Be Done

My roommate and I were howling at the idea: Should we ask her boyfriend to pick us up some tampons from the store?? Ahahha No Way! He’d never!
Poor men, they are just so damn uncomfortable in those moments. They get so embarrassed by life’s necessities. Granted I still awkwardly hid my tampax among my loaf of bread and chips ahoy, and yes I refuse to shop for such products at Overwaitea, I will admit I only buy embarrassing products from Extra Foods. I guess for some reason I just never run into people I know there.

The 10 Most Embarrassing Products A Man Can Buy
10 - Tampax
This is an obvious one, and probably the most common, so we’ll get it out of the way here. It’s also, probably, the most absurd item on the list. Having a girlfriend or wife who menstruates once a month is hardly a “skeleton in the closet”, so what’s the big deal? But gold stars for the men that do buy them!

9 - Womens Underwear
Men in lingerie stores will try to make it AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE that they are shopping for their wives or girlfriends. The second a man walks into a lingerie store, he’s dead certain someone in the office is calling the police to report a crazy pervert transvestite.

8 - Romantic Reading/Movies
“Chick lit” for the missus, guys don’t want to look like they’re fans of Zack Ephron, celeb gossip magazines or Bridget Jones’s Diary. The same goes for renting a movie like Steel Magnolias or Sex and the City. Make sure to put on a sour face, and the clerk is sure to know you’re renting against your will.

7 - Pregnancy Tests
Buying a pregnancy test isn’t always embarrassing. If you’re confident in the knowledge that you do practice safe sex, or if you’re trying to have a baby, you can walk in and out with your head held high. When you know that you made a mistake, though, buying a pregnancy test can feel a little bit like going to face the firing squad. Ahhh that sux!

6 - Adult XXX Videos
This would be a little bit higher up on the list, but then there’s the old trick of renting a couple of normal movies and sandwiching the dirty one in between. The clerk won’t even notice Lust in Space sitting between Star Wars and Blade Runner!Besides, it’s returning the movie after you’ve watched it that’s really embarrassing. EW!

4 - “Don’t Get The Wrong Idea” Combinations
We won’t go into too much detail here, but as a general rule, unlike fast food, certain combos are not good. So, men try to avoid buying combos like Kleenex and hand lotion , or baby oil and cucumbers at the same time.

5 - One Roll of Toilet Paper
This can happen to men and women alike, but come on, who’s more likely to run out of toilet paper at the absolute worst moment possible? When you’re only buying one roll, you’re sending out a clear message “I need this right now!” A close runner up would have to be buying a toilet plunger while dancing from foot to foot.

3 - Extra Large Condoms
There’s nothing shameful at all about practicing safe sex, but buying extra large condoms and announcing your unique anatomy to the cashier, especially if you have to ask an attractive young lady if they stock “something a little bigger” can cause quite a bit of blushing and uncomfortable silence. I would LOVE TO SEE THIS!!! Bahahahhaha

2 - Extra Small Condoms
Bet you were wondering how large condoms only ranked number three, weren’t you? Bonus points for number 3 and number 2 if you walk right back into the same store an hour later for a pack of cigarettes.

1 - Embarrassing Medication
This one has got to be the worst. Men aren't too embarrassed when they’re buying dandruff medication or athlete’s foot powder, but std medication, hemorrhoid cream, jock itch powder, and in fact, just about anything applied below the waist and above the knees, men are likely to drive to Sparwood to pick it up, just to make sure that they never, ever see the pharmacy clerk ever, ever again. Or wear an elaborate disguise!! Why are those sales assistants always female?

Thinking about this annoying part of life that plagues men and women, got me thinking, does the cashier really notice and judge? Do they quietly giggle at your purchases or do they keep it professional?
Well I asked a couple past Overwaitea cashiers this question and a resounding response was YES THEY JUDGE AND EVEN TALK ABOUT IT WITH OTHER EMPLOYEES!!!
This is too good! I knew it, I would do it too!

The best stories I got:
Mason Prouse: He said the weirdest checkout he ever had was from an older dodgy “crack whore” who came in and purchased a pregnancy test and a pack of Imodium.
Anonymous: His basket is still legendary as being the most embarrassing purchase ever. *Plunger *Lube *Condoms *Entertainment Weekly. The cashier even broke the golden rule by saying "I'm not even going to ASK what you have planned tonight."
Anonymous On-looker: “While waiting in the grocery store checkout line, the male half of the couple behind me suffered perhaps the ultimate indignity. I overheard the woman remark that she "forgot to get a douche...", and the man was dispatched to procure the item while she remained in line. To add insult to injury, upon his return, she berated him for grabbing the wrong brand. The poor SOB had to make a second trip to the aisle-where-men-fear-to-tred”

The best advice from cashiers is to shop for embarrassing things when they are busy, if they are busy they might not notice or really care.

The Business of Lazy.

McDonalds in America is reporting a 7% gain in sales in January 2009. Economists cite the reason is because of the economy, they are saying that when people get tight with money they eat poorly because its cheaper. I call bulshit, apples are still cents to buy. Whole grain pasta, tomato sauce and veggies will get a family fed for the same ammount as 4 combos.
Am I on crazy pills?

McDonalds is just a way to eat your feelings if you are stressed and lazy, ohh America I knew you ducked when Barack bitch slapped you with that speech on inaguration day.

Little Known...

Remember the Fernie DMO? (Destination Marketing Organization)
Well, you probably haven’t even really noticed, but it has been transformed into Tourism Fernie. Tourism Fernie is funded from all that hotel tax that Fernie accommodators have been collecting since 2007 and from memberships throughout the community. Since their job (one full time employee and a board of directors) is to bring people to Fernie, you probably haven’t seen all the work they have been doing since Dec 2008 because it has all been outside of Fernie. They have represented Fernie at ski shows around the world, created a website for visitors and placed many ads on TV and in newspapers across southern Alberta. This organization is a start for Fernie. All other resort municipalities have a DMO and are working hard at taking visitors away from Fernie to visit their cities instead. It’s a big market and its tough and if we aren’t going to be solely a mining town, we need to get Fernie out there.
Another thing I learned from all this hotel tax revenue is that the city of Fernie is holding a chunk of it, and people like you and me can propose to the city to get some of that money for “marketing infrastructure”, like music festivals, bike festivals or such attractions that would bring people to Fernie. So to be clear, Tourism Fernie isn’t going to create anything to be marketed, it’s only marketing what’s already here and happening. But it’s nice to know that if someone wants money to help with a kick ass project, money
is now there for such things.
Memberships are important, they are pricey, but consider it an investment in the future of Fernie. And settle down, Fernie will never lose its small-town community charm because we the people would never let that happen. However; we need a diverse economy to survive, and that means tourism as well at resources.

http://www.tourismfernie.com/

Your Weekend Planner....

February is always full of delicious bodyrocking and deep hip thrusting. Well at least for me anyway....

Here's the scoop for the weeekend....

Thursday
ATOMIC HOOLIGAN

@ the Royal Hotel

Tix $10 at Freyja

Schoolyard Breakdown: These guys were a headliner at Sham, so if you liked A Skillz, you absolutley cannot miss this show or otherwise you will dry up, bust and blow away with the wind. tix are going fast FYI.

Friday

AHHHH sooo HOT!

SB:Catch local ladies bearing it right down to their knickers as Excitables Boutique puts on a hot, saucy, lacy lingerie fashion show at the Northern. This may be a close as you get to these girls so come cheer them on and support Ang the owner of Excitables. Ang is the best! Go to the shop and ask her to show you the "We-Vibe"... jus saying.

OR

Luscious Beats play with the Fernie Yacht Club at the Royal

$5 cover

SB: MUAH I love these girls, not just DJs but, MCs, musicians and beat makers!!

You reeeally should come see these girls, you will fall in love. I did.
www.myspace.com/m3lusciousbeats

Saturday

Oh shit, Maestro Fresh Wes returns to Fernie !!!!!

"The Godfather of Canadian Hip Hop"

@ The Northern $10 at the door. Set the roof on fire!

SB: Check it out if you love hip hop, if you dont, you may want to pass.

OR

SHIT SON! The Underground at the Brickhouse has DJ Friendly Fire and ISIS GRAHAM from Calgary, another smokin lady who reeeeeaaalllly knows what shes doing on the decks.

SB: Dance Dance Dance. Its also a "StopLight" party. Im told that means you dress in red if you are taken, yellow if you are "complicated or interested in someone" and green if you are wide open!!!! Sweet!

OR

Go on a hot date and have a great night in!!! Do it!

So many choices!!

Schoolyard best bets:

Try the Royal on Thrursday for Atomic

Try the Royal again on Friday

And Brickhouse on Saturday.

Feb 14th

Valentines Day is fast approaching. Some find the tradition old, dated and anti-climatic.
Some still keep things old school and enjoy an excuse for romance. It’s up to you what you choose to do with it. My most memorable Valentines Days don’t even have anything to do with romance. In my early 20s I completely turned my nose up to the thought of such a ridiculous tradition that only makes women feel inadequate and left out. But as I grow older and wiser, I’m learning that I can’t ignore my inner romantic.

I recently purchased a women’s magazine. I picked that particular one out because it’s Canadian and I usually enjoy the content and the girly articles. This month’s edition naturally contained many pages of Valentines Day propaganda. The fashion spread of the month was lingerie. Polka dots, lace, safari prints, all sorts of lingerie for every hearts desire. I decided to take a random Fernie poll of all the men that I encountered that day. I showed them the lingerie spread and asked them to pick their favorite kind of lingerie. I was really getting inside the Fernie man’s head! By a landslide the black lacey lingerie won.
But after careful consideration of obtaining this information, it really got me thinking.
I started to recall my own personal Valentines Day encounters with men, which I’ll be honest, was all of 3 times. I have been single for every other Valentines Day in my adult life.
Schoolyard’s Experiences:
2000. I spent hours getting ready and truly putting 100% effort into looking fabulous for the lucky man in my life, motivated by the thought he would be happy with my appearance and the night would be fantastic. I was a virgin so I was rewarded with dinner and a movie. Ahh those innocent times!
2001. I spent hours getting ready and truly putting 100% effort into looking fabulous for the lucky man in my life, motivated by the thought he would be happy with my appearance and the night would be fantasic. I was rewarded with him playing “The Sims” on my computer while I anxiously awaited our date. After 6 hours, I put on my pajamas and crawled into bed and dozed off watching “Survivor”.
2005. I spent hours getting ready and truly putting 100% effort into looking fabulous for the lucky man in my life, motivated by the thought he would be happy with my appearance and the night would be fantasic. I was rewarded with a standardized Valentines Day gift from chocolate shop (I got the same thing for Christmas too) left on my porch as he went to party in Calgary with the boys.

Those experiences left me feeling inadequate and left out on romance.

Certainly no other woman is as pathetic as me. That is until you get a group of women together with bottles of wine and the stories of pathetic romance start spilling out like we are all trying to top each other.
I haven’t been around a long time, but a common theme that creeps around all the women in my life, whether they are long gone or still on my speed dial, is the lack of satisfaction in Fernie.

Some LOL Fernie Relationship Stories I’ve Heard:
1. A good friend of mine told me about an argument she had with her boyfriend about the lack of romance he brought to the relationship, his response “Look, I’m a good boyfriend, I don’t hit you and I don’t cheat!!”
2. One girl got dumped hearing the phrase “We have to break up, I need to concentrate on my music”
3. This girl was upset when her boyfriend left her at the bar, he said “Why are you mad? You knew how bad I always wanted to have a threesome”
4. “But babe, when you met me I did a lot of drugs, you knew that, I’m not going to change for you”, said to one of the most beautiful nicest girls I’ve ever met in real life.
5. One girlfriend of mine dated a Fernie guy for 9 months. Around the 6 month mark he lost interest in sex, soon after on Christmas he gave her a viberator.


Us women, take our man’s satisfaction seriously. We truly enjoy and revel in the idea that we can keep our man satisfied and coming back night and day for more. We want our man to be happy, but also, we need to be happy too.

There is a myth out there in the media and among men that women don’t want sex as much as they do. But I really beg to differ. I know women want it more.
Of all the women that have opened up to me about their sex lives (which has been many different women from all walks of life and ages), I can honestly say that the women in Fernie want sex more then the men. They want it all the time! They can’t get enough, and the men are getting a failing grade on keeping their women happy.

We drive ourselves crazy to get it, and more importantly, keep it. And when all of our antics fail (Brazilians, lingerie, doing favors we don’t get in return - you know what I’m saying), and our men leave us for greener pastures, it really fucks up our heads. We get neurotic, we develop eating disorders, we color our hair, we bring our hang-ups on to the next guy and we laugh in the face of chick flicks. We figure romance is dead and we wave our white flag in defeat.

Women put sooooo much work into their appearance. We want to look great and feel great, and honey, it takes a lot. When is the last time you men have waxed your balls? Joined Bikini Bootcamp or lived off rice cakes and cigarettes?
I hate to say it, but a lot of our motivation for looking so dame fine is because we are seeking the validation of a man. Whatever your reason is, self esteem, status, companionship or just plain sex, we like men and we like sex.

Are we in crazy town? How did this happen? Why aren’t men pining for our attention and showering us with gratitude that we even let them reach 2nd base. Shouldn’t we be demanding more? Why aren’t we? Ohhhh the madness we have let this escalate too! Stop the craziness and demand better, you are so fucking worth it. And if demanding more leads your man to turn to some random Fernie tramp, well, he wasn’t worth it in the first place.

So in closing, with this Valentines Day around the corner, before you run out and buy sexy lingerie and book a Brazilian wax, think about it. Is he worth it? Will he notice? Will you get what you so totally deserve in return?
Romance isn’t dead ladies. My mom always says, “You have to teach people how to treat you”. If your man makes you feel like you are camouflage on the sheets, you MUST make some changes and it most likely doesn’t start with sexy lingerie.

Ps. My dad buys my mom flowers once a month and they have been married 30 years. Maybe they just don’t make ‘em like they just to..

Oh one day my prince will come…..

Robots

Daft Punk has won both the Best Electronic/Dance Album for thier Alive 2007 album and Best Dance Recording for "Harder Better Faster Stronger" off the same album.

Wouldnt you just die to be there!!!

And speaking of Robots and coool things...(its blurry but whatever!)

Tron 2 comes out 2011

And speaking of Tron, Ladytron dropped this new video today!

its sooo cool!

It Will Make Your Life Better

This Movie pick is very near and dear to me. Its definantly one of my top ten movies.

If you haven't seen it, you better make this a priority. However dont bother trying to rent it from the movie store downtown, a friend of mine, Rosemary, hasnt returned it yet. Both Rosemary and I can nearly recite this movie, so you wont want to watch it with us either because we will surely annoy the crap outta you.

This mockumentary, starring Minnesota accents and beauty queens blowing chunks will seriously make you laugh at smalltown life and the rediculousness of American dreams.

Grammys

Are these things even relevant anymore? Is it based on talent and ingenuity or is it a forum for marketing to the masses?
I tried to watch the Grammys last night, to be honest I was too lazy to look for the remote so I cringed my way through until Katy Perry took the stage. Then I just couldn’t take it anymore, I got up found the remote and turned to Desperate Housewives.
Im not knocking the performers or the nominees. There were outright performances of great talent and some of pathetic attempts of 15 minutes of fame.
Whatever the case, music is to each their own.
Best Hair – Kanye West! Apparently “party in the back” is BACK. Boys in Fernie rejoice.
Best Outfit – MIA’s maternity wear. How awesome would it have been if her water broke on Kanye’s kicks!???!
Best Entertainer – Carrie Underwood, seriously, girl’ got skillzz, she rocked the stage the hardest in platforms! Too bad she was dressed like a lamp in a whore house.
Worst Moment – Justin Timberlake debuts his new extra 10 lbs. I thought I had a widescreen TV for a second.
Lamest Shit – All around Katy Perry. Ahhh go away!
Why Moment – Brooke Hogan, why was she there with her retard brother? I feel like Im looking at a wart when I look at her.

PS. Desperate Housewives was good! Catch up on episodes on http://www.ctv.ca/

Down and Dirty, Kootenay Style

The Canadian Press
VICTORIA — A B.C. cabinet minister who resigned from Premier Gordon Campbell's cabinet two years ago over a profanity-laced email to a constituent is facing questions about another email sent to a constituent this month.
Tourism Minister Bill Bennett's Feb. 1 email to the president of the chamber of commerce in Fernie, B.C., said the views of local chamber member and ski lodge operator Steve Kuijt on the 2010 Olympic Games are "short-sighted and ignorant."
In it he questions Kuijt's "intellectual level."
Bennett called Kuijt's Jan. 16 email to the Fernie chamber about the minister's Jan. 15 luncheon address "vicious and mean-spirited," especially since Kuijt, who runs a local ski lodge, did not attend the meeting.
"It is also quite revealing of Mr. Kuijt's intellectual level," said Bennett's email. "I cannot even begin to understand his reasoning that as MLA for Kootenay East, I must only be allowed to talk about tourism and no other issue."
Bennett also made reference to February 2007, when a rude and profanity-splashed email he sent to Fernie veterinarian Maarten Hart resulted in his resignation from cabinet, saying "having sent a few e-mails in my day I wish I hadn't."
Bennett's email came in response to Kuijt writing the Fernie chamber expressing disappointment that the Tourism Minister spoke more about coalbed methane development than he did tourism in a speech to the chamber.
Bennett also provided a blunt comment about what he called Kuijt's views on the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver and Whistler.
"I certainly hope that Mr. Kuijt does not speak for the Fernie chamber with his short-sighted and ignorant comments about the Olympics," the email said.
Kuijt could not be reached for comment but the Opposition New Democrats called on Campbell to rein in his minister, who they said attacks people who disagree with his views.
NDP tourism critic Rob Fleming said the least Bennett should do is apologize to his constituent. Politicians, especially cabinet ministers, have a duty to graciously accept and respond to difficult questions, he said.
"I would like the minister to reconsider," Fleming said. "I think he owes this gentleman an apology. He's just raising issues that surely Mr. Bennett has to deal with on a regular basis."
Bennett said he spent two days crafting his email response, and he considers his comments fair and in keeping with the tough political climate in the Kootenays.
Bennett, in an interview, said there are "dark forces" in the Fernie area who are opposed to development, and he does not intend to bow to their demands.
"They play rough up there, and they want to get rid of me, and I'm not going easily," he said. "Politics where I come from is, honestly, it's down and dirty."

Obey Creator Arrested

The Associated Press
BOSTON -- The artist famous for his "Hope" posters of President Obama has been arrested on outstanding warrants.
Shepard Fairey was in Boston on Friday for his new exhibit at the Institute of Contemporary Art.
Boston police say the department acted on Jan. 24 warrants alleging the Los Angeles artist tagged property with graffiti.
Fairey's Obama image has been sold on thousands of stickers and posters and its the subject of a copyright dispute with The Associated Press.
Fairey argues that his use of The AP photo is protected by "fair use," which allows exceptions to copyright laws.
A California lawyer who has represented Fairey in the copyright case didn't immediately respond to an email seeking comment on the arrest.

Shepard Fairey is the artist behind the label OBEY and OBEY records. You can find OBEY at Freyja, although it sells out pretty fast.

1998

Poor Mike Phelps, all this fuss over a bong hit. This all reminds me of a sticker I had on my snowboard in 1998, "Smoke a Fattie for Ross Regabliati".

And God Said, “Let There Be Dancing….”

One thing I can say for Fernie is that it has a very youthful vibrant essence that radiant’s from the ski hill to the dance clubs to the hockey games and over to the 7Eleven parking lot.
Young people are on every corner and they are driving here every weekend and filling the parking lots with their sporty Volkswagen Jettas or their dilapidated rust buckets. We are a huge piece of the Fernie labour force, we open businesses, we spend money, we rent and buy houses(which makes all those investors portfolios look beefy), we buy ski passes, pay taxes, we promote Fernie around the world and all we are asking for is a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T, a little respect baby.
Fernie has managed to attract a colorful array of demographics; Albertan families, 20 and 30 something adventure seeking couples, travelers from around the world and older folks looking for more comfort then adventure. But even though we may not be flashing around big money on spa treatments and luscious condo living, does that make us less of importance? Are our needs not a valid as the family man? How fucking dare you put bigger salary earners before us. Fuck that we play our part too.
What is refreshing to me is the vitality and lust for life that exists in the youth culture. 19-35 year olds are a key part to any growing city. Even though Fernie is experiencing growing pains (snickers), it’s too late, the young people have come and we are staying.

The Fernie Community Centre, if you haven’t heard, held a concert on Thursday February 5th. 9pm-2am. Standard concert/dance event hours. The artist was a little guy known as “A.Skillz”. He is a very well accomplished DJ and producer from the UK. On his North American tour, Fernie managed to snatch him for a special evening. A Skillz may be not as familiar as Nickelback or The Tragically Hip, however this extremely talented guy played Glastonbury last year and usually plays to crowds of the thousands. Imagine how excited the international youth scene was, as well as the short term young travelers, let alone our local youth scene was at this opportunity to see him live in Fernie. 400 tickets sold at $20. Is that not as big or bigger then Taste of Fernie? Does it deserve the same respect? (The bar was giving all its profit to a cause).
Can you remember the last time a real concert came to Fernie, I mean a community centre concert. Tickets, beer gardens, smiles, no violence and people just wanting to dance. How innocent and how good is that right?
Well, shocking turn of events….noise complaints.
Jesus Christ! All we want is to do something good and make people happy. And you can’t deal with some noise till 2am, even if it was that bad??? Come ON!!!
Who are you!??!!! Who the hell are you to phone the cops and make a compliant against a peaceful concert happening? Even if 60 people called and complained, how does that measure up to the 400 people that wanted the music on. The organizers did everything right and went through all the hoops to have this concert. The city and the police knew of it and approved it. And now you think you can call in and have something shut down, only to have 400 people spill into the streets totally pissed off. You think this is a good idea and you have the balls to tell me you think this is the right? This is only your town?



You know what all you noise complainers? Take a deep breath and shut up. Deal with it. Firstly, Id like you to think back to your youth. You worked hard and you partied hard, right? Mmmm Hmmm.
What is interesting, from my research, speaking candidly with some old timers, Fernie has always known how to party. Music, dancing and drinking is nothing new and it certainly isn’t going to go away. Back in the day I am told, The Royal, The Northern and the Old Elevator served as some mighty hot spots, much alcohol was consumed and many babies were conceived.
If you keep being assholes about it, you are only going to create a nasty communication line between yourselves and the youth…the youth that have followed all the laws and jumped through all the hoops to have a little bite of fun in their community centre. Have you seen "Footloose??" I spoke with Mary Giuliano about noise complaints, she is a city councilor for Fernie and a wise lady in her sixties, she laughed and basically said to me “When I hear music, all I know is that young people are in town and that’s a good sign for a lot or reasons”.

How often does a concert happen in Fernie? Really.
Thank God Griz Days is the snoozefest it is because heaven forbid you have the attitude that the residents of Kimberly do with JulyFest or Elkford residents do for Wildcat days. Oh god, imagine it, the whole town happy to have people dancing, drinking and spending money, Everyone happy to celebrate and have visitors bask in the community spirit. No, that’s just crazy talk.
Yes I am fully immersed in the youth culture of Fernie, but my position on this comes from a logical stance. When you have vibrant young people interested in making Fernie their home, or deciding to stay here after growing up here, then you have struck GOLD!
We want to live here, work here, pay taxes, support local business, make babies, volunteer, and we want to DANCE!

Schoolyard out.

Things I Don't "Need"

I love this website.
Where else can you find an ipod dj mixer, an obama skatedeck, a smokin cocktail dress, bike streamers, a giant inflatable mushroom, dope nike kicks, Gremlins The Game or a "Weedia Board", all in one place seriously!!!
www.urbanoutfitters.com

Oh Really?

The Farmers Almanac 2009 predictions for Southern BC:
February 2009
Avg. Temperature: 2°C (5°C above avg. north, 1°C below south)
Precipitation: 90mm (10mm above avg. northeast, 50mm below southwest)
Feb. 1-12: Occasional rain coast, snow showers inland; mild
Feb. 13-21: Sunny, seasonable
Feb. 22-28: Rainy periods coast, snow inland; seasonable

March 2009
Avg. Temperature: 2°C (2°C below avg.)
Precipitation: 100mm (avg.)
Mar. 1-7: Showers coast, snow showers inland; cold
Mar. 8-11: Rain coast, snow inland
Mar. 12-19: Showers coast, snow showers inland; cold
Mar. 20-22: Sunny, mild
Mar. 23-31: Occasional rain coast, occasional snow inland

Winter will be milder than normal, with above-normal rainfall in the west, above-normal snowfall in the southeast, and below-normal snow and precipitation in the northeast. The coldest temperatures will occur in mid- and late January, with the heaviest snows in mid-December and mid-January.
April and May will be cooler than normal, with below-normal precipitation in all areas but the northeast.
Summer will be cooler and rainier than normal, with the hottest temperatures in early July.
September and October will be cooler than normal, with precipitation below normal near the coast and above normal inland.


That book is full of shit.

File Under Inspirational

ZTrip released the 2nd Victory Lap Obama remix....
If you like soul, you'll enjoy listening to this while making dinner.

Download For Free at:
http://djztrip.com/obama/victorylap/

Gold.

Have you heard that Christian Bale rant? (Christain Bale was on set and totally lost his shit and some sound guy recorded the whole thing and it was leaked onto the internet, its real, hes such a dink)
Well here is a Christian Bale Vs, Bill o'Reilly mix, its GOLD!

Tickets Dwindling!!

Tickets at Freyja $20
A Skillz comes to town Thursday Feb 5th.
Fernie Community Centre

Claws Are Coming Out!

Our provincial election is coming up in May. Liberals or NDP, ya you get to decide, thats if you get your ass up to even vote. Dont even get me started on how low the Fernie Municipal voter turnout was.
Anyway, I'll save that rant for later....
I noticed some TV commericals have already been popping up that discreetly mention not to vote liberal. They sure do have their points. Point taken.
However, dont forget what our local MLA has been up too. I personally really like Mr. Bill Bennett, who is also the Minister of Tourism. I have personally asked him questions (who can say that??) about coal bed methane, tourism and why things are the way they are. He ALWAYS has treated me and my questions with respect and his replys have left me informed and enlightend on many topics. His office is totally open to you too. Inside of bitching on the side lines, I suggest you get informed first.
Just a couple things the BC Liberals have done for our area alone since they had to clean up the province after the NDP:

-The expanded Canadian Rockies International Airport;
-A $34 million expansion of our regional hospital and 35 new specialists;
-A $16 million expansion of College of the Rockies;
-The fix of the deadly Steamboat Hill;
-Hundreds of thousand$ into eco system restoration of our natural grasslands;
-The best invasive plant prevention program in BC;
-The East Kootenay Angling Management Plan;
-The Southern Rocky Mountain Management Plan;
-My private member's bill, "the Heritage Right to Hunt and Fish";
-Rennovations to the Fernie Arena;
-Millions in infrastructure for Fernie, Sparwood and Elkford;
-New high school in Sparwood.
-Additional funding for Kootenay Rockies Tourism;
-Fernie's Resort Municipality status;
To name a few things.

Keep informed.

Shout Out to Bill Bennett! (Did you know he was a chamber President for two years in Cranbrook. He grew up in a small business family and owned a small business himself - a wilderness lodge) Bill.Bennett@gov.bc.ca

And You Dont Think Tourism Counts?

Tembec Shutdowns Announced
Tembec Employees across the country are getting hit once again by the declining economy.
The Company has announced there will be a series of shutdowns affecting all of its British Columbia facilities, along with mills in Manitoba and Ontario.
The Cranbrook finger joint facility is already shut down. The Canal Flats and Elko sawmills will shut down for approximately 8 weeks starting Monday.
The softwood craft pulp mill located in Skookumchuck will be put on halt February 23rd for a six week period. Chetwynd's high yield pulp mill also faces a shutdown. It stopped operations yesterday and will remain on lockdown until there's support from market conditions.
The shutdowns in BC will affect just under a thousand workers.
President of Tembec's forest product group, Dennis Rounsville had requested a hold on the information until employees could be informed by the company itself.

Killllls It.

Have you been watching these??????




my personal fav:

you tube "the worm or Nadya Ginsburg" for more. holy shit fun.

History Buzz. Seriously.

This summer the Fernie Museum plans to hold an exhibit featuring all the underground tunnels in Fernie's downtown. The underground tunnels were for good ol' bootleggin. Fernie Gangsters carved out (literally) quite the cash making operation with moonshine and booze.
So far the museum is still exploring how they are going to present it, hopefully they get the financial support they need from sponsors so we can actrally go down in the tunnels.
So, hey, history can be cool!
However; we still have gangsters in Fernie, they just wear oversized clothes, snowboard and buy cheap beer.

Ph.D

After extensive and careful review over the past 4 years, my findings and research have finally concluded. I hereby and graciously present you the winners. Enjoy and Cheers.

Best Ceasers In Fernie:
1. Island Lake Lodge
2. Corner Pocket Brassiere
3. The Pub

Best Wine Selection (in town)
1. Red Tree Lodge
2. The Brickhouse
3. Yamagoya

Best Value and Selection:
1. Boston Pizza
2. Red Tree Lodge
3. The Fernie

Best Mojito:
1. Island Lake Lodge
2. Corner Pocket Brassiere
3. Red Tree Lodge

Coldest Beer:
1. The Griz Bar
2. The Fernie
3. Rip n Richards
Honorable mention: Bull Dogs -The Northern

Best Martini:
1. Yamagoya - Alpine Martini
2. Red Tree Lodge - Zen
3. The Brickhouse - Cosmo

Best Place to Enjoy Wine:
1. Island Lake Lodge
2. Brickhouse
3. Yamagoya

Best Place to Enjoy Beer:
1. Bulldogs- The Northern
2. The Pub
3. Boston Pizza Lounge

Best Place to Order a Shot:
1. The Northern - Cuz 10 people will join you
2. The Hos - For the sparkling conversation with the regulars
3. The Fernie - Cuz you'll need it

Buzz.

Miss Grizzz?

Fernie party makers and shakers and all around good people, "Partying is not a Crime Productions", are planning on a new tradition forming during Griz Days. And wow, Griz Days could sure use a hand. (snickers) Similar to the "If Ullr was a Girl" contest in Whistler, ladies will compete in a multitude of tasks that demonstrate their siiiiiickkness for the mountains as well as their charm and finess in all catagories of the contest.
Sounds like a good time and one wicked spectator event.
The winner wil be crowned at another Griz Days first...a dance! The first stages of planning sound like a band will play followed by a dj for one big town dance off and it wont be at a bar.

more details to come..

Thats So Boss!

If you like to house party or perhaps run on a treadmill, this mix will keep you going and going and then some.
My friend Kei made this dirty electro mix to start off 2009.
In 2008 he was hitting the decks from Ibiza to England and then over to Banff where he's holding it down now.
download here its free:
http://www.box.net/shared/ryovsz98q4

PS. Warning, this mix will totally blow your speakers if you arnt careful, if you blow them I take no responsibility.

Catch DJ Kei coming up at:
Feb 13 - Sumo-Bassic(Calgary)
Feb 15 - Wild Bills(Banff)
Feb 27 - Aurora(Banff)
April 1 - Amsterdam Rhino(Calgary)

Something Good

Hmmmm,mmmm. this song reminds me of skateboarding in Cranbrook in the late 90's when it was super late in the day in August, the sun would be setting and everything was dripping in a deep golden glow. If I close my eyes I can smell the hot asphalt and cigarettes. Boarder's Choice gets a shout out today. Summer seems soo far away right now. Raveonettes Rule.
Listen Here:

Don't Bother

Have you seen that commercial for "peer into a soul.com", well I caved. Its for Kia cars.
Ahhhhhh so dumb it hurts!!