Date Night!

I went out on Valentine’s Day evening for dinner and dancing. Because there was no way this single lady was going to spend the evening home alone. For two reasons, that just sounds sad and secondly I always have fun out with my single friends on one of the stupidest days of the year. Seriously! And when I received a text from a friend in Vancouver that she was at a wedding and had just been subjected to doing the “chicken dance” I realized things could be waaaay worse, suddenly my beer tasted even better.
I had a great time out as usual, however; I couldn’t help walking home at 2am with a few pet peeves rolling around in my head from the night.

Smile This!:
Why do guys seem to think that by telling a girl to “smile” it’s going to score them a smile back? Really?? Is this a pick up line???? It’s awful and nothing is worse then when you are actually having a good time and someone says that. Perhaps you were just scanning the room for where your drunk-ass friend took off to, or you might be lost in thought and some fucker sticks his face in yours are demands “hey smile lady”. AHHHH it makes me want to punch you in the face, not smile. And I am having a good time, thanks! It’s like when someone says “ohhh you look tired” and even though maybe you are tired, the fact that someone pointed it out makes you think, “oh gee thanks, I look like shit, if I was feeling crappy before, well now I really feel like shit, I should just go home and put on more makeup then Ru-Paul.”
My Ovaries Shriveled a Little When:
Kids!!! Some peoples kids! Fuck, nothing like making reservations, getting dressed up, paying $80 for dinner, and some peoples kids are running and screaming around the restaurant. Ya, good times..NOT. And despite our dirty glances towards the parents, they didn’t seem to give a shit that their bloody awful children were ruining the evening for everyone in the restaurant on fucking Valentines Day. I scowled at them as they climbed into their SUVs with Alberta plates. How Rude!
Back the F Up:
“Night at the Roxbury’ed”! When ladies are on the dance floor, bumping into them over and over again is not going to get you laid. If we are dancing and we are into you, you will KNOW. But after 15 minutes of a girl slowly inching herself AWAY from you or her girlfriends make a huge cockblock for you. Take a hint, move on. To the guy in the crisp white polo tee and crisp white hat: Dude, take that smirk and boner back to where you came from.