Service with a Smile

When the labour shortage hit, one thing that I undoubtedly noticed in retail was the downward spiral of customer service. And fair enough, I understand how it all happened, if you dont have enough staff then your workers get overworked and tired, or you just dont have enough people to fill the need. But corporate culture didnt seem to change. "Pieces of flair" and other selling techniques, along with cliche and token retail standards were forced down all these poor minimum wage employees. By cliche and token standards I mean, "greeting a customer with 15-30 seconds of them entering your store", "asking if you they need a hand finding anything", "engage a customer in converstation", yada yada yada. Except the problem arose when most of the employees hadnt been properly trained, but thrown into work in a desperate move by tired middle management. One clear example that has now become an elaborate inside joke with my mother and I, re-enactments and funny accents included, is when you finally ask an employee for help with something, they usually have no idea how to help you and you end up losing patience or cringing for their embarressment. How many times have I asked a "box-store" employee to help me find something, only to have them parade me through every aisle helping me look for the item because they have no idea where it is - ohhh tooo many to count. I would have perfered not to have had any awkward company escort me through my search. If they straight up told me they don't know, I would have aimlessley wandered the aisles quite happily all alone.
So, today I had the same experience, but it was more funny then usual so I will share. I went to Home Depot with my Ma to find "Allegator Clips". The first "sales associate" sent us to the electrical department with affirmative confidence that thats where they were. I was shocked and happy. But they werent there. Next we found a flaming gay man, who pointed us to the lighting department, which was on the opposite side of the store. On our way to the lighting department we ran into a flock of orange aprons. Obvisouly this large crowd of middle aged men was some kind of area managers (big wigs) and the local managers meeting doing a training day or gathering of retail minds. I can hear them now "ohh how can we sell sell sell?? Why lets look at the Home Depot Employee Manual!!!". As we walked through the blur of orange aprons, khaki pants and bald spots, almost as in a Mexician market we were bombarded with "hello", can we help you, finding everytihng ok, what are you after today, g'day mam', anything we can assist you with". It was insane, I actrually laughed out loud. I said to my 10+ audience of eager customer service brown-nosers that I was looking for allegator clips. They sent me on a goose chase. In the end, I gave up on them and went back to the area the flaming gay guy told me to go. And of all the men in Home Depot, it was a gay man who knew where they were!!
I've worked for lots of franchises and box store brands in my day, and all that customer service propaganda is such shit. It makes me laugh, and Im mildly embaressed for people in their 40's and 50's that have to smile and nod to that shit. When I quit Second Cup, Pier 1, Bootlegger, Canada Olympic Park etc etc, I burned my flair!