Coming to Fernie

Just a heads up that February is stackin up to be a BIG FISTPUMP party month, Noteable things to note:
Kick off Feb 1st with the Chef from Wu-Tang this Sunday night - if you got a ticket sucka!

"Come As You Art - Body Paint Comp" at the Central Sat Feb 13th. Those wicked chicks from Lusious Beats are putting it on, stiff competition out there and should be a great spectator show, plus the thing winds up with a show from Lusious Beats.

Bulldogs got lotsa goodies too like Smalltown and Team Canada Dance Party Feb 3rd and Ali B Feb 20th.

ANNNND just a note that Every Thursday at Picnic is locals night - half price wine and beer. 20oz beers for like $3. Annnnd lotsa fresh oysters from the East Coast AND the West Coast. Its a fun night, you can actually find a place to sit and you see familiar faces. Even tho the drinks are cheap the service is 5 star.

February is always a good month here in Fern for socializing and entertainment, and if you dont like going to the bars, well you can stay home and watch the Olympics on CTV and eat some Lays.

ZING!

Mouse Pad

Nerds can now get a lil action...

Download

For all the ladies out there on treadmills...

Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce (Crookers Remix)

It Just Keeps Getting Better...

New Hot Tub Time Machine Trailer...has boobs.

Go Fernie.

Drive Thru for a Small Waist

LOL
Taco Bell has launched its "Drive Thru Diet" campaign. The idea is your drive on thru and order a low fat lunch or dinner, or both. I have noticed the commericials running with their very own "Jared". Since 70% of their business is done over the drive thru counter, they figure they will incorporate that into the diet phenomonon. I gotta say its brilliant. Think of all those American ladies flocking in their Ford Focuses and Dodge Caravans. Its also quite funny, like you have to "drive-thru" to lose weight?? Seriously? You cant haul your fat ass outta the car and walk in, let alone, walk to a lunch spot? Ohhh dear. ahahahah too funny.

U Rock.

Hey Fernie!! Soooo stoked 1000 of you came to the Olympic Torch Relay, Wasnt that awesome!! And to think I totally underestimated y'all.
Suuuuper good turnout and show. I still probabley wont watch any sports on tv, but I love a good party!
Cudos to the puppet makers! Loveddd Loved those!

U Rule.

Dont you love it when you stand in front of a huuuuge speaker and the music and the bass is so good and deep that it makes you feel like you are all hairy, or like your are rubbing up against a big ol grizzly. Love that! Thanks Hifi club in Calgary, you rule.

Punch in the Face.

Most Annoying Song Ever Made , EVER , Gawd I wanna punch this bitch.

Hate That!

Dont you hate it when you are wearing a crappy sock that keeps falling down over your heel everytime you walk and its gets all scrunched down your shoe! You keep reaching in and pulling it up, but with a few more steps its sneaks back down. So you start walking funny to compensate so it wont fall down, but its does anyway. Ahhhh I hate that! Its happening to me right now.

VIBE TIME!

I found a Jersey Shore Nickname Generator
HERE

And a Tiger Woods Mistress Name Generator
HERE

I love BC

New BC ads airing...I like. Stoked.

Torch Info

If you can haul yourself outta bed this Saturday morning to see the torch, ya lazy bastards, maybe we wont embaress ourselves to the national media. We need a decent turn out. Get over it

FERNIE
January 23
7:30 a.m. Wake up call
8:00 a.m. Fireworks Display - yes fireworks at 8am! After parties that still going are going be tripppppin!
8:00 a.m. Torch Arrival – and torch relay begins at corner of 13th St. and Hwy #3
8:12 a.m. Torch Arrival at City Hall – O Canada performed by Fernie and Area children, with community message from Olympic Athlete Emily Brydon and Fernie mayor.
8:14 a.m. Torch leaves Fernie for Cranbrook
8:15 a.m. Pancake Breakfast – at the Senior’s Drop-In Centre

Word on street says that Big Bang Bagels and Mugshots is catering the Pancake Breakfast. yesssss. I hear that the schools are doing a good job of keeping the students informed on the torch info, I dont know about the rest of the town tho. I think they get a fail for advertising. Only thing Ive seen was a small pixalated poster hiding under other posters at Overwaitea. So, help get the word out o'tay!

Make You Feel Brand New

New American Apparel Shipments at Freyja!

Complicated

Lotsa people been asking me my thoughts on the upcoming implementation of the HST. It sure is a hot topic. As a retail business owner it makes my life easier and will help me lower my prices, but there are other sectors that I know are very upset, and I see their point too.

I came across this article from our MLA, its complicated, but try and read it, might help you wrap your head around it, better then all the clutter and overtones in the media.

HST:
Good public policy often does not make for good politics. Such is the case with the forthcoming introduction of the new harmonized sales tax. Since the joint federal-provincial announcement last summer, much of the debate has focused on “political hay”, rather than on the “public policy” merits of the measure.
The HST is the best public policy initiative that the federal and provincial governments can take to improve the position of Northern British Columbia’s resource-based export industries. Here’s why.
By removing the PST now paid on business inputs, most sectors of the economy will become more competitive. Approximately 40 per cent of the PST is paid by businesses on goods and services which they purchase to run their operations - machinery, equipment, office supplies, furniture, energy, legal services, among many others. With the removal of the PST, businesses will be able to invest, grow, and create well-paid family-supporting jobs.
The paperwork burden associated with the administration of the two tax regimes (PST and GST) will decline. Currently, there are duplicate sets of tax rules, administrative authorities, and compliance requirements. Estimates place these savings at $150 million per year.
Many products will decline in price once the HST is fully implemented. Most businesses will receive a 12 per cent credit on the HST they pay. In a competitive market, these savings will flow to consumers as price reductions.
On a sector basis, the B.C. Ministry of Finance estimates $880 million in savings for construction, $210 million for transportation, $140 million for manufacturing, $140 million for forestry, and $80 million for mining and oil and gas per year. These industries form the backbone of the northern resource-based economy.
There is a lengthy list of exemptions from the HST including medical and dental services; child care services; long-term residential care; residential rent; legal aid services; most educational services; groceries; prescription drugs; medical and assistive devices; agricultural and fishing products; and, most financial services. Rebates will apply to municipalities, charities and non-profits, and new housing (new houses will be HST exempt up to $400,000 while homes over $400,000 will be eligible for a $20,000 HST rebate). click here to read the rest

Vice is Coming!

Big Thanks to Marie, DJ Cona, The Brickhouse Underground, DJ Friendly Fire and all the Vice supporters that made the Vice is Nice Party a success!
Vice is now coming to Fernie....
I managed to sneek in a couple pics...

Do where your snowboots and gum boots out to the clubs in Fernie. Show those Euros how we boot-stomp in the Koots.


Hey Dickweeds! Dont bring Jersey Shore to Fernie.

Duhhhlete.

Found this on msn.ca today, its a good'er, y'all know how I feel about facebook etiquette. (Pulling my hair out rant) There is a difference between Twitter and Facebook, and thats why Im not on Twitter. Tweet This:

10 Signs You Should Delete a Friend on FB
1. She’s a firm believer that you can learn a lot about your health from your poop — and has the status updates to prove it.

2. You’ve only met him once but he “likes” everything you do on Facebook. Uh, stalk much?

3. You’re pretty sure she doesn't wear her dress and veil everyday, but the girl can’t stop posting pics from her wedding two years ago.

4. He changed his relationship status to single instead of breaking up with you in person.

5. One word: Farmville.

6. She might not be on The Biggest Loser but for some reason she wants the entire world to know what she had for lunch, how many miles she just ran, and when she is sweating it out at the gym.

7. She has a photo album of your days as a teen beauty pageant queen, a scanner, and a passion for tagging.

8. EVERY WORD HE WRITES IS IN CAPS AND USUALLY FOLLOWED BY TONS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!

9. “So-and-So added you as a friend on Facebook” is the most you’ve heard from him in 10 years. Now that you’ve accepted the request you still haven’t connected.

10. You call her Mom.

Got $5? 2 toonies???

I kinda feel dumb bloggin about crack sauce when so many people are hurt in Haiti right now.

Join some facebook groups to support:

Earthquake Haiti (1)

Support Victims of the Haiti Earthquake

Got some spare cash, cmon I know you do becuase we all just got our BC climate change cheques in the mail:
www.redcross.ca/helpnow
The site must be getting losts of traffic cuz I had to re-try my donation 4 times. Be patient, keep trying.

Crack Sauce

HOLY F&*Kballs! The Cooks Cabin Fry truck is parked outside Overwaitea!!! I havent seen Darcy allllll winter, where o where has he been?

Did you know the crack sauce is made from bacon fat and heavy cream?? BRILLZ!

Bitters making big comeback.

Facinating article in the Globe and Mail today on the resurgance of "bitters" in the bartending world. Click Here and have a read.
I feel informed and interested in more, you too?

Basic Bitters Recipe here

Common

Man, lots of people are naming their kids Harlow these days. Granted it is very beautiful. Harlow reminds me of Nicole Richie, and Nichole Ritchie reminds me of her new totally insane awesome jewelry line called "House of Harlow". I want everything.
Check it out.

Pants serve are weight-loss goal reminder and bitch-slap.

Top of the muffin to ya! Its that time of year, everyone is still talking some huge shit about all their weight-loss New Year's resolution plans.
Undoubtedly over Christmas a few pounds may have been packed on, perhaps over the years many many many pounds have packed on. We can busy ourselves so we dont really notice, but when you open your closet and see those "incentive pants" that you just cant get rid of, you are reminded of your feat and hang your head in shame. You get a twinge of anxiety and a wash of nausea all over your body. Those pants used to fit so well, one day you do plan to fit back into them. They serve as a reminder to this lofty pledge. They are nice pants, they make a great goal. Should you ever get rid of the incentive pants? I say no, because if you get too comfortable in your fat pants, you'll never really know how uncomfortable you feel until you get that slap-in-the-face reminder that that size is not what you really want for yourself. People hang on to incentive pants for years sometimes, even if they ever get back into them, those low-rise, white wash Silver jeans are sooo 2002! Yikes. Some people take action immediatly and fix the muffin topness. Regardless, pants are a great measuring tool for your bod. If you think you need the incouragement, hang incentive pants all over your house. Or hang them at the front of the closet for a daily reminder of what you want for your body.

No Game.

Oh dear. Michael Ignatieff, man you suck. I really thought you'd be a thorn in Harpers ass, turns out your games are tacky and old and no one is interested. Dude you gotta get some more game, who are your people??? Fire them. The latest attack ads are sooo, hmm, "American". After all this time you've had thats all you got? While you are playing junior high on this break from parliment all the Tories are around Canada doing press releases and press confrences on important issues they are "trying their best" to fix. I have tuned out your dribble and promptly flip to Simpsons and Seinfeld repeats while the news gives you some time on TV. Jus sayin.

Why I Can't Take Americans Seriously.

To Read about the latest Same-Sex Marrige debate in California -
Click Here Globe and Mail Same-sex marriage showdown enters California courts

Mog, Moggin, He was a Mog.

It's now been defined and clarified for me.

MOG: Half man, half dog.
To Mog - Is to be doggin' around looking for female tail.
Use it in a sentance.
"There is a Mog after you"
"Let's go out mogging tonight and get us some ass".

Alternatively: Half man, half dog. He's his own best friend.

Barf from Spaceballs was a mog.

Clap to This

Wu-Tang is coming to Fernie, yup. Well, just Raekwon, but still.
To get into spirit, here is a brand new free download
CLICK HERE Wu-Tang Clan – “Clap 2010″ feat. Raekwon, Ghostface, Method Man and U-God (MP3)

aaiiiiight.


Man, if you woulda told me 14 years ago when I was driving around Cranbrook in my Mom's Chrystler Spirit with my speakers blaring Wu-Tang and smoking a Player's that I would one day see Raewkon in Fernie, I woulda choked on that slurpee and peed my pants.

Vice is Nice

Hey Weirdos,
If you ever wanna see that Vice Mag stocked in Fernie again, you better head to the Brickhouse Undergound for a Vice is Nice party.
You dont come, we dont bring Vice to Fernie, you come and pay small cover for amazing funtime, we bring Vice to Fernie, capiche?? You get it?
Cona is lightin up the speakers and Marie will be bringing it". Niiiiice. Hopefully I get to see lots of "Dont's" that night, I'll be watching.
Oh ya the party is ThIS FRIDAY JAN 15th.
Freyja will be giving away some prizes for you to strive for.

Join The Fight

Canadian Cancer Society:

Join the fight: Make BC pesticide free
The Canadian Cancer Society is very concerned about the use of cosmetic chemical pesticides, which can contain carcinogens, for the purposes of controlling unwanted weeds and plants on lawns and gardens (cosmetic use).
Cosmetic chemical pesticides have been linked to various cancers and children are at a greater risk. What’s more, these chemicals are unnecessary. Safe, effective, non-toxic alternatives exist and the use of these alternatives is good for business and can grow the green economy.
To Read More and Get Links to Email the government Click Here

Word Association

When you hear the name Cranbrook, do you think Walmart? Thrift Store? Dollarama?
Well, I do.
Today I was in Cranbrook and before I got the hell out of there I stopped in at "Twice is Nice", a second hand goldmine by Cloverdale Paint on "the strip". Even tho that place is seriously overpriced, there were some serious finds! I nabbed a circa 1992 Gap purple suede jean jacket. Its like it was there waiting for me. Eerie.
On top of that I got a bunch of over little things and haggled the overall total down 25%. Sweet.

Here is my Secondhand Guide to Cranbrook:

1. Salvation Army Thirft Store
Take a Right at 7Eleven, then your first left after you cross the tracks.
This a pretty big thrift store. I have found countless items that I adore; like the big red velvet "Beetlejuice" looking armchair for $15 and many envied pairs of vintage sunnys. Prices are totally cheap and good selection of everything.

2. Hospital Auxillery Thrift Store
Just a couple doors down from the "Sammy" Downtown Cranbrook. All the ladies in there are soooo lovely and cute. This place has always been a score for costume stuff and hot dog day material. I also remember the day I found and bought my 1980s peach ghetto blaster. That was a fun day, the ghetto blaster is on display at Freyja and people try and buy it all the time.

3. Church Lady Hole-in-the-Wall
This place is tucked away in the "Speciality Lane" mini mall thats across the parking lot from Safeway, if you are looking at the front doors of Safeway then Speciality Lane is to the right. I remember going to this place as a kid, I hated it, but in high school when we all when through our Seattle Grunge phase we raided this place for amazing grandpa cardigans and old school adidas track jackets. From then on this place has always held a place in my shopping heart. The ladies in there are nice, but kinda treat you like you musta taken a wrong door cuz the place is crawlin with cauliflower heads.

4. Page's Book Emporium
On Baker Street, been there for eons. I LOVE this place. It hasnt changed AT ALL since I was a small Sweet Valley High reader. There is decent selection, you save at least 50% on books, lots of old and bestsellers. Everytime I see the giant stack of "Hes Just Not That Into You" books I mentally note it so I can tell girls where to get that book cheap. I always walk outta there is something, today I walked out with a newer version "500 of the Best Poems" for $8. Cool.

5. FunHogs
Ahh this place cracks me up sometimes for what people are trying to get money for. This is a used sports equipment consignment store. I can just picture the old stodgy redmeck that brings in those ancient well used 1970s xc skis and skates and wants $$$ for them. Thats what happens here. There are still some good things, but I think for what your getting half the time, you're better to buy new.

6. Pippins
Across from Cranny City Hall and down from the Catholic Church. This place is great if you're a chruch lady and you actually think you are saving money buying someones else's crap.

7. Consignment Store beside SAVE-ON-FOODS and the government liquor store.
Same description as Pippins.

8. Twice is Nice Antiques and Clothing
Ahh this place is jsut plain fun and for what it is, its done the best of all the stores mentioned above. However, it is a bit expensive. For example, my suede jacket was priced at $34 and I saw a mexican sambaro for $50. Fack. But its a fun shopping experience.

9. Random Antique shop on Baker Street just down from Boarders Choice.
I went in there once years ago and wasnt impressed. Maybe something will call you to though. Seemed affordable.

Why Im in love with Jandy Timsamberlake

Sleep Anywhere!

From theFrisky.com...
I have to say, the first time I set eyes on the Sleep Suit, I knew I had to have it. A Snuggie-like suit that enabled me to fall asleep anywhere? Yes, please! Usually, if you go to sleep, you do it at home, at night, in your bed. Not so with the Sleep Suit! It’s made of stiff, pleated, shock-absorbent EVA foam, which means you can abruptly pass out just about anywhere—at your desk, on a hillside, in a stairwell—and, voilà, you are your own bed! It’s like a cocoon for the nap-happy. I want one stat, dammit. I’ve got some sleeping-in-public to do.

Picnic Brings the Passion

I so totally went right up and down the menu at Picnic (Of course I did! Its me!). After basking in the new chic spot of Fernie for wine the opening night, I promptly returned the following night for a proper dinner experience. (Sidenote – wine list is GREAT, Thank goodness we have a wine list like that downtown Fernie now! Whew!)
Arriving at the Livery conjures up many old memories for me, but something tells me by pulling open this wooden dream door, I will be shaking my head to remember them. Walking up the stairs to the top floor is twilight lit and inviting. The brick wall and wood steps carry you up to the sounds of beaming socializers and the smells of masterpieces. Simplicity and sex appeal. You land at the top of the stairs to a glowing, yet enigmatic awaiting lounge. Crimson booths line the back original brick walls that are steeped in Fernie history. I almost half expected a seductive vampire to be smirking back at me from the corner booth. A long lustrous custom dinner table lays down the middle of the room invoking tranquility and togetherness. The bar runs parallel with heavy bar stools that frankly say “sit down and let me get you’re a scotch”. Tara Higgin's art piece on the back wall ties in the simple sexy modern feel.
To the left is the dining room. Gorgeous. Taking the chance to sit at the table with ceiling to floor windows and the oversize velvet chairs was an instant choice for my guest and I - in which we felt like royalty there all night. Our server was quiet, maybe a little too meek for what Im used to in a town where you know everyone.
We started the night with a bottle of the Black Widow Gewürztraminer. After rich reds and spicy holiday drinks this was the perfect answer for this post holiday dinner. We took a sampling of the “Picnic” menu instead of the appetizers. The cured beef tenderloin and the marinated fennel was such a sparkling treat with our wine. Everything about it was right, not too salty, not too pretentious. The cured meats and goat cheese were making love! For dinner we had the “Happy Chicken” out of default as they did not have the Bison Short Rib in yet, which I was really excited about, so it was more like “Bummer Chicken”. Quickly I forgot about the bison, Farkas done good; the chicken, its jucies and the spices were dancing the happy dance. It danced on a bed of curious noodle things, Ill call them little passion nuggets right now, because they were just divine. The dark savory and sweet jus was the best part of the dish. I wish they gave just a tinsy bit more though. A smear of sweet potato to accompany the chicken finished the plate. Simply amazing!! The Gewürztraminer’s dry spicy notes were the perfect match for all our choices. If you don’t like taking chances or trying interesting items, get the chicken because it was fairly straightforward amazing chicken, nothing too crazy here. But the rest of the "Prinipals" described reads like a feast for kings. You must give it the one-two and order like its your last meal.
We followed with the espresso chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream. Cake was knee-weakening, but the ice cream was the orgasm of that plate. Dessert choices were fairly predictable, aside from the poached port pear however; and if I liked port I would have tried that. Expresso and chocolate are a weakness for this happy lady.
I wrapped up the night with a glass of the Forty Creek whisky. The smooth, bold vanilla and oak golden goodness went down my throat one small sip at a time as I lounged over candlelight taking in the whole restaurant’s sensual delights for the overall experience. The people behind this project have passion, it shows and I could feel it there that night. Congratulations, welcome to Fernie and Ill be seeing you soon again!

Food: 4.5/5
Service: 4/5
Atmosphere: 5/5

Reminder

Dont forget its now illegal to drive while on your cell'io!

Cool Things in January

January Blueeees. January Suuuuucks

Heres something exciting:

1. Snowed In Comedy Tour at The Pub Jan 26th
What happens when 4 top international headlining comedians want to go snowboarding during the day and do comedy shows at night? The Snowed In Comedy tour. The snowed in comedy tour makes it's first stop in Fernie, BC on Jan 26th.
Ticket $20 at the Pub

2. Raekwon The Chef of the Wu-Tang Clan at Bulldogs Jan 31st
This concert marks Raekwon's or any member of the world famous Wu-Tang Clan's first ever time in Fernie and it's gonna be bananas. Fresh off dropping the most anticipated hip hop album in ages... the critically acclaimed 'Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II', Raekwon has been grabbing awards left, right and centre. He was named 'Emcee of the Year' and his 'Linx ... Pt. II' was voted 'Album of the Year' in the 2009 HipHopDX.com
Tickets Advance $25 at Bullys

Funny Story

So a group of 18 year old Calgary boys get a table at Gabs. They all try and order a beer, server denies them after ID'ing. They order food and eat it all up. One by one they leave Gabs. Until the server suddenly notices that the table of little boys has dined and dashed. Little Pricks. They phone RCR security, but no luck.
Next day, managar of Gabs is driving into Fernie from Hosmer, and there is a Range Rover in the ditch. Oh look who it is???!!! Manager pulls over and asks for them to pay te $160 bill NOW, cuz now she's got the license plate number. They collectively shit their pants and pull out $100 bills.

Fucking little rich kids ripin off a Fernie Business???? Nice Try ya lil shits. Karma works here in Fernie too.

Ease Up On It

Okay Listen Glamour Pusses of Fernie , Im on my second day without caffiene or sugar and Im not gonna fucking tiptoe around this anymore so listen UP!
Wearing too much of your tacky cheap ass drugstore perfume is reeeeeeeeeeeally RUDE.
First of all, lots of people are allergic to that shit. Second, not EVERYONE wants to smell your "smell". My mom always taught me that, a Lady's perfume should never enter a room before she does, or exit after her. Same goes for men. New Years Eve at Bulldog's with all the Calgary Leather* in there left me sneezing and red-eyed. and Today I had the pleasure of some cute blonde Scandos leaving me dry-heaving. Please be considerate of your fellow man and mother earth and go easy on spraying your what-ever-you-paid-for-it scent. AHHHHHH someone get me a coffee!!

*Calgary Leather: A stereotypcial Calgarian that enjoys Lava Life, drinks at Celi's/Cowboys, weekend warrioring and hair gel...and wears dated leather jackets.

New Yoga Studio

They said it was just a fitness fad...well many years later, Fernie grows another yoga studio...the demand was there!
Congrats to Carrie, I know this was a dream come true for her.
Visit www.livingtruthyoga.com for info and to sign up (cough cough new-years-resolution cough cough)

Loaf

Loaf Bakery is launching in style this Saturday 9th January.
The Drive 99.1FM will be broadcasting live from the bakery from 10am-3pm. There will be free coffee with every purchase, prizes and give-aways. It will be an opportunity to meet the team, taste the breads and see what all the fuss is about! We will be giving away gift boxes full of our delicious bread, cakes and pastries – so come by to see us this Saturday at 1201-6th Ave, Fernie

The Story of the Two Wolves

The Story of the Two Wolves
One day an old Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson. He said, "There are two wolves fighting inside all of us - the wolf of fear and hate, and the wolf of love and peace."

The grandson listened, then looked up at his grandfather and asked, "Which one will win?"

The grandfather replied, "The one we feed."